FanPost

DBD 10.14.09 I am a terrible, terrible person

We've been getting your feedback from the Golden Feedback thread and we really appreciate it.  Of course, we'd never ever make any of your comments public.  Except for the following ones.

See, we've been getting a lot that in the following vein:

Twist, you are, by far, the best thing to ever happen to me, keep on keeping on.

Twist, I don't know how you do it, your delicious munchkin, but you nail it on a near daily basis!

Twist, for the love of god, you need to cover yourself in some sort of giant tarp or tarp-like object, because your luminescent gorgeousness threatens to ruin us all for others.

Twist, I wish it was you who had my child.  Now, if you excuse me, I have to go practice my trombone.

Twist, you are like the NSFW photo of my heart.  Every morning I wake up (unfortunately, earlier than ever these days) and think Man, if only I could roll over and see Twist sleeping there so quietly.  Then, truly my life would be complete.

Twist, this is January Jones.  That was the greatest night of my life.  Never leave me.

Twist, this is HydroTech.  That was the greatest night of my life.  Never leave me.

And just on and on and on and on and on and on and on.  I appreciate all of your comments, I really do.  Keep them coming.  But please, stop complementing me so much.  I'm being serious.  I have major self-esteem problems.

In that I have too much. 

Others stand in front of the mirror each day and tell themselves positive affirmations.  You can do this.  You can achieve your goals.  You can accomplish your dreams.  You are good enough and goddamn it, people like you. 

I have to do the opposite.  Each morning I wake up, take a shower, wipe the steam off the mirror, sigh softly, stare at myself and just go "FUCK YOU YOU COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER YOU AINT SHIT IF YOU WERE SO GOOD YOUD BE AN INTERNATIONAL JET SETTER, NOT STUCK IN A SUBURB SO WHITE THEY WOULDN'T LET THE IRISH IN.  YOU ARE INCREDIBLY SHITTY AT YOUR CHOSEN PROFESSION AND SHOULD LEAVE IMMEDIATELY TO BECOME A HOMELESS LOUT.  I HAVE NO DISCERNIBLE EXPLANATION AS TO WHY YOU MANAGED TO CONVINCE A WOMAN TO MARRY YOU.  IT TRULY BOGGLES THE MOTHERFUCKING MIND, YOU DUMBASS.  YOU WILL FAIL TODAY.  YOU WILL FAIL YOU WILL FAIL HARD  YOU WILL EMBARRASS YOURSELF IN A NEW AND INVENTIVE WAY TODAY."

I wasn't sure if these negative affirmations were going to be correct today, but then I wrote this DBD.  And I knew that I had concocted a new and inventive way to embarrass myself.  So, please stop with all the positive feedback.  My ego is so big I had to rent an apartment in the Richmond to store it.  I don't need to scream at myself much more, my wife already does such a great job at that.   So, please.  Stop.  Just stop.  Tell us how how we're doing without proverbially cupping my balls.  If that's even possible!

VBall to take on Ducks and Beavs.

BERKELEY - The Golden Bears are set to face their sixth consecutive top-25 team as they embark on their second Pac-10 road trip. No. 14 Cal, No. 15 Oregon and Oregon State each carry 2-3 conference records into the weekend and are looking to improve as the mid-way point of the Pac-10 season approaches. The Bears snapped a three-match skid as they swept No. 25-ranked Washington State to give head coach Rich Feller his 200th win at Cal. Feller's next victory will be his 500th career win as a collegiate volleyball head coach.

THE FACTS: The No. 14-ranked California volleyball team (9-6, 2-3 Pac-10) heads to the Beaver State for matches against No. 15 Oregon (12-3, 2-3 Pac-10) and Oregon State (11-6, 2-3 Pac-10). The Golden Bears square off against the Ducks in a 7 p.m. PT match on Friday (Oct. 16) at McArthur Court in Eugene, Ore. and will take on the Beavers at 7 p.m. on Saturday (Oct. 17) at Gill Coliseum in Corvallis, Ore.

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS: Fans can follow live stats for Cal's match at Oregon via links at www.goducks.com. Oregon also offers a live video feed of the match for fans who subscribe to the GoDucks.com All-Sports package for $9.95 per month. Live stats and free streaming video will be available when the Bears take on the Beavers via links at www.osubeavers.com.

FOLLOW CAL VOLLEYBALL ON TWITTER: This season, fans can follow Cal volleyball on Twitter. Stay up-to-date and get the exclusive inside scoop along with special Twitter-only photos on everything Cal volleyball at www.twitter.com/calvolleyball.

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

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