"Yep, that's exactly what he looks like" via www.smashking.com

Gather round, one and all, for the debate to end all debates.  In one corner, the most Twisted one, world's worst 140 pound Hebiac(k) attorney, constructer of the world's worst memes, the one, the only TWISTNHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK.

In the other corner, at 6 foot 11 inches, weighing in at 350 pounds, ensconced wholly in velvet, not to be confused with that character in Super Smash Brothers with the hat and baseball bat, the one, the only, NESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST-OR!

Two of the quickest minds in the SB Nation going at it mano a Heebmano.  Today's debate topic:  "Recently a prominent high school offensive lineman changed his status from UCLA to Cal.  Some people theorized that it was due to his inability to academically make it at UCLA.  Are there differing academic standards between Cal and UCLA that make it difficult for UCLA to compete at football?"

Moderator:  As the away team, the opening salvo goes to Nestor.

Nestor:  Well, I've never quite bought into the academics excuse, to be honest.  That’s typical sour grapes excuse from Bruin message board posters. It could be a simple explanation of Cal having a better reputation at OL in recent years. It’s a set back for now. But big ups to Cal. Hope CRN keeps fighting away till the signing day. It’s not over yet.

Moderator:  Thank you, Nestor.  Now, TwistNHook, it is your time for a rebuttal:

TnH:  HONK!

Nestor:  What the what are you talking about???  Look, I just wanted to make a note of it because I saw number of message board posters coming out with that automated academic response as soon as the news broke. I think that’s such a cop out (especially when its thrown out there without concrete evidence) and very unfair to these 17-18 year olds. It will be interesting to see how CRN and the staff deals with this setback and finish in the coming days.

TwistNHook:  (Pregnant Pause)  DOUBLE HONK!

Moderator:  Yes, please, TwistNHook, can you stay focused here and stop grabbing my chest, please?  I mean you didn't just come here to spew an endless series of inane catchphrases, did you?

TnH:  NAILED IT!

Nestor:  I need to call my agent.

TnH:  This. 

Moderator:  Seriously, do you have anything to add to this conversation?

TnH:  Here's what makes no sense to me.  Dan and Serena are concerned, because they really want to date.  But Dadn's dad and S' mom happened to hook up and have a kid 18 years ago.  Look, I get it, that it's weird.  It's weird to want to go out with the daughter of the person your dad is going out with.  But its not like you are related and just because you share a half-sibling that you just frigging found out about  doesnt mean you are technically related. 

Moderator:  Is that......a Gossip Girl storyline?

Nestor:  I agree, I mean it makes no sense.  And why would all the mean girls put a hit out on Dan's personal life?  Besides those 3 creepy 14 year olds who gives a doodle about whether or not Dan cheated on S?.....again. 

Moderator:  You watch Gossip Girl, too?

Nestor:  Well, duh!

TnH:  DOUBLE AIR E-HONK.

Moderator:  I...........need to call my agent.

And scene.  I hope you guys enjoyed the first in what I can only assume will be a Court enjoined series "SB Nation Debates."  Next week, TwistNHook debates JShufelt about why he (JShufelt) yells "BearsBearsBearsBears" when he climaxes.

On a much less serious note, yesterday slash earlier today, Thoroughbred, who is one of the finest commenters at this site, copied and pasted some information directly from a subscriber only Rivals story.   I've contacted T-Bred personally about this, but also wanted to make it clear here.  There is a distinct difference between a subscription only story and an open consumption story (like from the Chron). 

For example, the Chronicle will allow you to c+p their story.  It's open to all.  Due to fair use restrictions, you can't copy the whole thing, but you can copy a few paragraphs and provide the link.  A subscription only place, such as Rivals, will generally have certain restrictions on their original material.  For example:

“The material on the Premium Ticket Service is for the private, non-commercial enjoyment of Subscribers only. Any other use is strictly prohibited. Rivals and its publishing partners spend a great deal of time and money to obtain the information appearing on its web sites. Subscribers agree that they will not copy, publish, or in any way make available publicly any news, pictures, interviews, features, or any other information from Rivals web sites, without express written permission from Rivals. Subscribers agree that, should they do so, Rivals reserves the right to cancel their subscription immediately without refund. Additionally, reuse of copyrighted information (pictures, interviews, features, videos, audio, etc.) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

I'll summarize that for you, if you are reading an article from a fine website such as Rivals or any other subscription only site, feel free to link directly to it.  Feel free to paraphrase in your own words.  But don't c+p anything.  Now, look, they probably won't cancel your subscription and they probably won't prosecute you.  Those are just scary scare words put in to protect their interests.  But we are all on the same team here.  There's no point in making enemies.  I know T-Bred didn't do this with any malice at all.  But you don't need malice to violate their subscription agreement and you don't need malice to create an awkward or uncomfortable situation. 

Believe me, I create awkward or uncomfortable situations all the frigging time!

So, please help us help you help us respect the intellectual property of other Cal fans, so that they can continue to give us Cal fans the high level content that we deserve!

Ok and with that all out of the way, lets get to some links:

Cal to take on Stanford this Saturday at Maples:

Opening Pac-10 play in first place at 4-0 and winners of its last nine in a row, No. 22 California (15-2, 4-0) travels to The Farm for a matchup with Stanford on Saturday, Jan. 17, at 5 p.m. The Golden Bears, who are ranked in the AP's Top 25 for the first time since 2003, left Washington with two hard-fought victories last weekend. They survived a triple-overtime thriller against the Huskies and outlasted Washington State in a low-scoring, defensive struggle.

Patrick Christopher continues to be red hot at the start of conference play, posting four consecutive 20- point performances and leading the Bears in scoring in three of them. He tallied a career-best 27 points and tied his career high in rebounds (11) against Washington. Christopher is currently averaging 16.1 ppg, which is second best among the Bears. He is also second on the team in rebounds with 68, averaging 4.0 per game.

After getting off to a sluggish start against the Huskies, Jerome Randle got it going when the Bears needed him most. Randle finished with 23 points, including nailing a clutch three-pointer toward the end of regulation to send the contest into extra periods. Randle paces the squad with 19.1 ppg and has led the Bears in 12 of 17 games. He is dishing out 4.9 apg and owns a team-best 14 steals.

Monty quotes:

On what it will be like to return to Stanford as California's head coach:
Don't know - haven't been there yet. Honestly, it's a tough road game. And other than the fact that you walk back in and you see a lot of people that you know, I don't see too much more. None of these kids on my team played against me, none of the kids on Stanford's team that I coached, either, so its history. We know that we need to prepare for a tough opponent and a hard road game.

On the aftermath of the Washington win:
The thing that was fun was just the feeling in the locker room after the game. The kids were just jumping up and down and hugging each other. It was just such an implausible end to a game and it's just fun to watch the kids enjoy themselves like that. That's what's supposed to happen occasionally. And they just really enjoyed it. They fought, they hung in there, we had a buddy in foul trouble and we get a break or two, obviously. You just sit back as a coach and watch the kids really having a feeling that you are supposed to get from athletics.

Women's bball takes on Stanford this sunday.  I just bought my ticket:

SKIP THE LINES Fans planning on coming to the "Battle of the Bay" are strongly encouraged to purchase their tickets in advance. Lines for day-of-game ticket purchases are expected to be very long. To avoid the hassle, tickets can be purchased online at CalBears.com, over the phone at (800) GO-BEARS, or in person at the Cal Athletic Ticket Office, located at 2223 Fulton Street on the first floor, Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. All youth 12th grade and under can purchase special $1 tickets for the game as it is a Cal Kids Day.

Golden Bear Notes

For the third time in Cal history, the California Golden Bears have started the season with a 4-0 mark in Pac-10 play. Last season was the only time since joining the Pac-10 that the Bears have begun Conference play with a 5-0 or better mark. Overall, the Bears have started conference play 4-0 or better eight times, with their best starts coming in 1981-82 when they went 8-0 to begin their NorCal Conference play as well as last season's 8-0 Pac-10 start. The Bears bring a five-game winning streak to the court tonight, the second longest winning streak of the season. The Bears won seven straight games to start the season.

This week is the first of two scheduled meetings of the 2008-09 season between Stanford and Cal. The two teams will next face each other on Valentines Day in Palo Alto. The two teams have played each other 67 times in a rivalry that dates back to 1974, the first season of Cal women's basketball. The Cal-Stanford game was a league rivalry until 1982-83 when Cal went with most of the NorCal conference schools into the NorPac conference while Stanford opted to break from the former NorCal teams and join the WCAA. In 1986-87, both teams became part of the Pac-10, and the Conference rivalry has been strong ever since. Despite being in different conferences for four years, the two teams still played each other as non-conference games. The 2008-09 season is the 36th consecutive year that the Bears and Cardinal will face each other.

 

Boyle quotes:

On the rivalry:

"It's going to be a great game. It's been coming down to this becoming a big rivalry or trying to create a rivalry. Both teams know each other really well, we know their strengths and weaknesses and visa versa. You've got o be able to put a good plan together. We know them so we should be able to do that. And I'm sure they're working on the same things. We have to be able to execute those things in practice so your kids going into the game are just comfort and confident. That's our goal this week."

On Stanford's recent games:

"They're a system, they run the triangle a lot. They're very successful at it because they've been running it for years and they know what they're looking for. I think the biggest thing right now is that they have a lot of balance. Their scoring is out of wack where [Stanford's Jayne Appel] is getting 30 and everybody's getting five. There's a lot more balance. The triangle is a great offense when you have a lot of scoring. They're executing it well, they're shooting the ball really well and it makes it tough for you to double. You just have to come up with a game plan that makes them feel uncomfortable."

On preparing for Stanford:"That's who we all want to be when you're playing like that. It just makes you really dangerous. Obviously you can see from the numbers they're putting up - 112 - it's major numbers. They're sharing the basketball. Again, you've got to pick your poison and you have to decide where their weaknesses are and what you can take away from them to make them not feel comfortable in their execution."

"Obviously they're thinking. We've got great post players and they've got great post players. They've got deep post players, and we don't. They're going to, I would think, try and take advantage of the fact that we're thin at that position right now. I'm sure they're going to get us in foul trouble and make us go small and all that. It's just us being smart, and again, changing things up and making us counter what they're trying to do."

 

Cal women's tennis has a great pre-season ranking:

BERKELEY - The California women's tennis team opens the 2009 spring season with its highest preseason ranking in program history. The Golden Bears were ranked No. 2 in the first ITA NCAA Division I Women's Team Rankings and received one first-place vote. Northwestern is ranked No. 1 with 17 first-place votes and defending NCAA champion UCLA is ranked third, receiving 14 first-place votes. Rounding out the top five are Baylor at fourth and Stanford at fifth.

Other top-25 teams from the Pac-10 conference include No. 10 USC, and No. 21 Arizona State. Washington checks in at No. 38 with Washington State at No. 44. Oregon is the last ranked Pac-10 team, sitting at No. 55.

Four players received singles rankings, led at the top by sophomore No. 13 Marina Cossou. Two spots away at No. 15 is senior Bojana Bobusic. Fellow senior Claire Ilcinkas holds the No. 30 ranking and freshman Jana Juricova is ranked No. 52. The Bears will field two doubles teams ranked in the top 50 to open the spring. Cossou and Ilcinkas are ranked seventh while Juricova and senior Marion Ravelojaona are ranked No. 49.

 

Men's tennis is great, too:

BERKELEY - The No. 25 California men's tennis team opens the 2009 spring dual season on the road this week against No. 55 Hawai'i. The Golden Bears will face the Warriors on Friday, Jan. 16 at 1 p.m. HT at the Hawai'i Tennis Complex in Honolulu.

The Bears last faced Hawai'i on March 26, 2007 and claimed a 4-2 victory on the islands. Cal holds a 2-0 record all-time when facing the Warriors and will face Hawai'i for a second time this season when the Warriors come to the mainland on Saturday, Feb. 7 for a 1 p.m. PT match at Hellman Tennis Complex.

 

Swimming hosts Cal Invitational:

BERKELEY, CALIF. - The University of California men's swimming program will be hosting its annual three-day Cal Invitational this Saturday, Jan. 17 through Monday, Jan. 19, at Spieker Aquatics Complex on the Cal campus. The all-comers meet, which will not feature any Cal swimmers, gives local male and female athletes an opportunity to compete at the home pool of the Golden Bears' swimming and diving teams.

Participants may enter the Cal Invitational either on deck or online. For online entries, send a HY-TEK file by noon on Friday, Jan. 16 to m.nygren@comcast.net, or bring a flash drive to the meet on Saturday. The entry fee is $3.00 per event. For more information on the Cal Invitational, and event start times, click on the above pdf file.

Womens gymnastics to take on OSU:

Bears Head To Oregon The California Golden Bears women's gymnastics team, coming off last weekend's third-place finish at the season-opening tri-meet, head to Oregon for their Pac-10 opening meet against Oregon State. They will also be competing in the tri-meet against the Arkansas Razorbacks. The meet will pit the Bears against two top-25 teams. Oregon State is ranked at No. 13 in the Troester rankings. Arkansas is ranked No. 5.

Cal Opens 2009 Season Hosting UC Davis, Sacramento StateIt was an all Northern California tri-meet at Haas Pavilion last Saturday with the Sacramento State Hornets walking away with the victory. The UC Davis Aggies finished second. For the individuals, Cal gymnasts owned third through fifth place in the all-around and took two of the top three places in the beam.

Senior Jessica Kelley set the standard for Cal, finishing third in the all-around. Kelley scored two 9.725's, one for her floor exercise and the other on bars, to finish third out of 32 competitors. Junior Sophia Hocini followed with a fourth place finish in the all-around. Hocini had a 9.675 on bars in her best event of the meet. Sophomore Stephanie Cheng, the fifth place all-arounder, also earned a 9.675 on bars.

Cal bball great to have jersey retired:

BERKELEY - Former University of California center Darrall Imhoff, who helped the Golden Bears to the 1959 NCAA championship and was a member of the gold medal-winning 1960 U.S. Olympic team, will have his number 40 jersey retired in a halftime ceremony Feb. 14 when Cal hosts Stanford in Haas Pavilion.

The event will be part of a special celebration at the game commemorating the 100th season of Golden Bear basketball, as well as recognition of the 50th anniversary of Cal's national title.

The Cal-Stanford contest tips off at 2 p.m. in Berkeley. Tickets are available through the Tickets link at CalBears.com or by calling the Cal Athletic Ticket Office at (800) GO BEARS.

A standout for the Bears from 1958-60, Imhoff was named a second-team All-American as a junior and a first-team All-American his senior year. He was also a two-time first-team all-conference selection and was selected Cal's Most Valuable Player as a senior in 1960.

 

HONK!