DBD 1.12.09 I Am Witty, Yet Urbane
by TwistNHook on Jan 12, 2009 7:46 AM PST
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PrintWhile on vacay (vacation for those not forced to watch Legally Blonde ten to twelve times a week), I had a lot of free time to write jokes. I have mentioned this previously.
But I failed to mention how I wrote quite possibly the greatest joke in the history of organized comic timing. The key to writing a good joke is balancing both the broad and narrow aspects of it. A broad joke, as the name implies, is one that might be appreciated by everybody in the world. A narrow joke is one that might be appreciated by a much smaller crowd. The purest narrow joke would be an inside joke with only you and a few friends.
Generally, narrow jokes are the funniest and wittiest, because as you appeal to more and more people you have to de-witty and de-funny it to make sure all get it.
For example, if you were to go to another blog and write "This" after all the posts, they probably wouldn't find it funny. Ok, bad example, because even here, nobody finds that funny. Nobody. Ever. Not even HolmoePhobe and I'm pretty sure that guy is the biggest humor slut in the history of humor and sluts.
Every now and then something comes along (like Seinfeld) that can write broad and witty jokes and those people make a LOT of money. I am not one of those people.
But I did manage to write one joke that is unprecedented in both its broadness and absurd wit. It's like an onion, you unpeel it and unpeel it and each time you see the joke from a different angle. You can't just experience the joke once, you have to see it from all the different angles. Like a fine wine, you have to really let it sink in and settle and then appreciate it.
Ok, are you ready for this joke. One so amazing, so unbelievably, so broad, yet so witty? Are you ready for this joke, ready to unpeel it layer by layer to see all the different prisms of hilarity inside? If you, LET'S DO THIS THING:
Just grab another dudes boob and yell "HONK!" really loudly.
OH MAN, just thinking about it makes me el oh el. I mean, you'd need a team of 15 Daily Show writers to come up with witty, yet urbane stuff like that. I dont know how I did it. I dont know how I did it.
As a minor aside, make sure ONLY to perform this joke on dudes. No need to get sexual harrassment on your record, is there? You can perform it with women around, but just be careful not to do it on a woman.
This, of course, leads to the Air Honk. The Double Honk. The Double Air Honk. You can't lose with quality stuff like that. So witty. Yet so urbane!
So, feel free to use this joke. Try it out on your family, your friends, your co-workers at the nunnery.
And, hopefully, like an onion, it made you cry. From Hilarity!!! NAILED IT!
Rugby slaughters Lumberjacks:
BERKELEY - A dozen Golden Bears scored a total of 16 tries as California won its season opener over Humboldt State, 103-0, Saturday on Witter Rugby Field.
A sparkling day greeted fans in Strawberry Canyon to see the 2009 Bears take the field, and Cal did not disappoint, playing sound rugby against a Lumberjacks team that has been a perennial participant in the Division II postseason.
Lumberjacks head coach Alex Lundberg, a Humboldt State graduate who played on teams that advanced to the national quarterfinals in 2004, final in 2005, semifinals in 2006 and quarterfinals in 2007, said, "When we play Cal, they always look the same. It's just really good, solid rugby."
Humboldt State took a crack at a three-pointer for the posts out of a scrum to get onto the scoreboard from the Cal 25-meter line in minute 11, but the attempted dropkick was blocked by Eric Fry. The senior lock exited the match with a cut above his eye seven minutes later, but after the match said, "It looks like it could the beginning of a good year."
Mens Divers perform well:
LOS ANGELES, CALIF. - The No. 4-ranked Cal men's swimming and diving team had a strong performance from its divers Saturday, Jan. 10 at the Bruin Invitational in Los Angeles. The Golden Bears were led by sophomore Tom Henninger, the November and December Pac-10 Diver of the Month, who placed second in the one-meter event and third on the three-meter board.
Henninger, who has already qualified for the NCAA Zone meet in both the one and three-meter boards this season, narrowly missed winning the one-meter competition when he was edged out by Stanford's Dwight Dumais, 323.90 to 323.40. Cal has some other divers finish well on the one-meter board as freshman Joe Quattrocchi placed third (280.40), sophomore Taylor Dehn placed fourth (273.10) and freshman Bobby Sullivan was eighth (258.20).
Womens gymnastics opened season:
BERKELEY - The California Golden Bears women's gymnastics team opened its season Saturday, Jan. 10, with a 7 p.m. tri-meet, hosting Sacramento State and UC Davis at Haas Pavilion. Sacramento State, posting a team score of 191.975, edged UC Davis and Cal to win the team title.
Cal had a strong showing in the beam with senior Jessica Kelley taking second with a 9.675. Sophomore Avery Gee was third with a 9.625.
Kelley, who placed fourth in the floor exercise with a 9.725 and fifth on the bars with another 9.725, finished third in the all-around. Junior Sophia Hocini was fourth in the all-around, followed by sophomore Stephanie Cheng in fifth who posted a personal best all-around score.
In all, the gymnasts had three personal bests in events, and both Cheng and Avery Gee had personal bests in the all-around.
Womens BBall wins:
BERKELEY, Calif. -- Senior forward Ashley Walker scored 14 of her 20 points in the first half and pulled down 10 rebounds and No. 13 California won its fifth straight game with a 62-34 victory over Washington on Sunday.
Walker, the Pac-10 leading scorer who moved up to second place on the Cal career scoring list during Thursday's 68-45 win over Washington State, shot 6-for-10 and was a perfect 7-7 from the freethrow line. It was the tenth time this season she scored 20 or more points in a game. The ten rebounds gave Walker her fifth double-double of the season and the 39th of her career.
Senior forward Devanei Hampton added 10 points and eight rebounds and junior guard Lauren Greif grabbed eight boards for the Golden Bears (13-2, 4-0 Pac-10), who were far from sharp in shooting just 41 percent and committing 21 turnovers.
Liz Lay scored 11 points to lead sloppy Washington (5-8, 1-2), which had to be happy to leave the Bay Area after a tough weekend that also included a record 77-point loss at No. 11 Stanford on Thursday night. The Huskies combined for 69 points in their two losses.
The Huskies committed 18 turnovers, were outrebounded 45-26 and fell behind big in a hurry and couldn't recover. Washington went 7:30 between its first and second field goals in the opening half and trailed 32-9 at the break. It was the lowest scoring first half in school history, beating the 12 points the Huskies scored in the first half of a 77-42 loss at Stanford last season. They shot 3-for-24 and went 0-of-12 from 3-point range.
HONK!
The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.
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Kennard recruitment
A serious question to counter-balance the avalanche of honkin’ humor above: anyone know what this article says??
Hibernating until next season.
Avalance of honkin’ humor, I like that.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
On a more serious note, I really did wish i knew what this article entailed.
It'll be just you, me, and Peter Nincompoop.
T-bred does…he’ll likely chime in some point today. Although I have a feeling that article is more of the same we’ve been hearing:
“It’s tough to choose between Cal, SC, and Texas…I mean Cal’s facilities makes it hard to say ‘no’ to them. I’d committ for sure if Sarah the Cheerleader would go on a date with me.”
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
I feel like USC and Texas fans aren’t concerned at all that he’ll come to Cal. Like they have completely written us off. It’s understandable considering we’re not exactly on the same level as USC and Texas, but still… Kennard keeps listing us as one of his 3 finalists. That’s gotta mean we’re not completely out of the picture, right?
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
Same Old... although the writer didn't leave Cal out at all
Devon Kennard thought he could put things on cruise control.
Five-star Devon Kennard is still trying to make a decision.
The five-star defensive end had narrowed his focus to a few schools – USC, Texas and Cal – and had completed his run of official visits. Now, it was time for Kennard to simply sort through his options and make the best choice before giving a commitment, possibly as early as last week.
But, as tends to happen in the world of recruiting, Kennard was thrown a curve recently when Southern Cal went through a shake-up in its defensive coaching staff, elevating secondary coach Rocky Seto to defensive coordinator and hiring Jethro Franklin for a second stint as the program’s defensive line coach.
When that news went public earlier this week, it forced Kennard to take a step back. The Phoenix Desert Vista product was closing in on his final decision, but he now has to go through more evaluations of each program and try to get a feel for the new-look USC staff. Kennard, who did talk to Franklin on the phone last week, said recently that his plan is to meet with the Trojan coaches in person in the next two weeks (as well as another visit with the Texas staff at either his school or home), and a decision could be pushed back until signing day if necessary.
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 10:16 AM PST up reply actions
That’s just some of it… nothing new
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 10:17 AM PST up reply actions
That seems to infer that Kennard was close to a USC commit until the defensive shakeup there, right?
It'll be just you, me, and Peter Nincompoop.
This was written for the Texas fansite… He met the new coaches and liked them a lot…
The rest of the article seems to imply that he has to re-evaluate SC, not that he was close to committing. He just needs more time to make a thorough judgment, now that new guys are coming in
Right now, I’d say it’s SC, Cal, Texas in that order
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 10:25 AM PST up reply actions
I wish we had serious USC juice
like Carroll back to the Yets or something like that…Sanchez departing would be beneficial…anything to help him feel like USC is a no-brainer pick.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
To me…it sounds like Cal was 2nd/3rd…but now maybe the gap is closer.
BTW…“Jethro” and “Rocky”…perfect names for defensive coaches
If we don’t get him, who’s our rush LB (or Follett replacement)? Or will Cal use a variety of blitzing LB’s to get a 4th and 5th rusher. I like Cameron Jordan as a rush LB until I considered that his only value would be to rush the passer and this takes some of the guessing and beauty away from the 3-4. So…my best guess is that we won’t have a traditional rush LB but instead will have any one of the 4 LBs rush the passer on any given down. That sounds confusing especially considering Oregon and Oregon St will be replacing key O-line pieces.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Jarred Price is the JC recruit that has the best shot at that position, i thought.
It'll be just you, me, and Peter Nincompoop.
All of the JC recruits are in the mix
And some of the returners (Mohamed, maybe, but he’s too much of an asset as a utility player to be the consistent pass rusher)
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 10:56 AM PST up reply actions
If we get Kennard
Cal’s strongly moving toward “Rush LB U.” Having players like Kennard and Follett help attract similar players for future years (like our RBs).
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Someone answer OskiMonsta please, pretty please!
by CaliforniaCMB on Jan 13, 2009 2:03 AM PST up reply actions
Not good
I received this e-mail this morning. For those doing research on the UC campuses beware.
LETTER BOMB THREAT TO RESEARCHERS
An animal rights group has claimed that it has sent letter bombs to two UC
Davis researchers. The UC Davis Police Department, Davis Police Department
and other agencies are investigating the claim, and no suspicious packages
have yet been detected.
The claim was made late on Saturday, Jan. 10, in a posting on an activist
Web site. Police notified the two researchers named in the posting, both
affiliated with the California National Primate Research Center, early on
the morning of Sunday, Jan. 11.
“Such threats against our researchers are unacceptable, and we condemn them
in the strongest possible terms,” said Stan Nosek, vice chancellor for
administration at UC Davis, who is responsible for oversight of animal
research and care on campus. Nosek urged anyone with information about the
bomb threat to contact the UC Davis Police Department at (530) 752-1727.
All researchers, faculty and staff are advised to be vigilant in handling
and opening mail, and to look out for suspicious packages, such as parcels
that are unusually shaped, wrapped with a lot of tape or have excess
postage. For information and tips on mail safety, see
http://police.ucdavis.edu/. Anyone finding a suspect package should contact
the UC Davis Police Department immediately.
Research involving animals benefits both human and animal health and is
strictly regulated by federal law. The California National Primate Research
Center is one of eight centers across the nation funded by the National
Institutes of Health. Research at the center includes studies on HIV/AIDS
and other infectious diseases, asthma, autism and Alzheimer’s Disease.
Historically, the Animal Rights Jihad terrorize primate (usually Rhesus monkey) researchers. Although last year UC Santa Cruz researcheres (who use mice) were subject to home invasions.
Research grade animals are bred specifically to do research. They are housed/treated in accords with the NIH protocols. They are most definitely NOT treated like those farmers shown in the Yes on Prop 2 ads. If interested, I could likely point you in the right direction to gain information on animal research at NIH-funded institutions so that you can make an informed decision.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
So if people make funny comments about an unfunny joke...
does that in turn make the orignal joke funny?
Joe Starkey...Scholar, Humanitarian, Cal legend, worst radio play by play man of all time.
Damn, dude, why you gotta hat on Honk? It’s, by far, the funniest, wittiest, most delightfully hilarious thing I’ve written in a long time.
I think we can AT LEAST agree on that!
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I totes hat it when people hat!
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
This.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 11:44 AM PST up reply actions
Trouble on The Farm
Reaction II: Whether Harbaugh leaves The Farm, or Bechta tries to use the interview to drive up the price of the extension, this development should put to rest any notion Stanford fans have that Harbaugh is wholly committed to the Cardinal — that he considers Stanford "the ultimate destination," the phrase he used a few months ago on the Dan Patrick Show. I can think of 32 jobs he’d rather have, at least.
Reaction III: Nobody should be surprised by his desire to move to the NFL or begrudge him the opportunity. He spent 15 years in the league, his brother’s one win away from the Super Bowl and here’s Harbaugh, coaching against Arizona in front of 22,000.
Reaction IV: All that said, the situation sure smells of hypocrisy given the manner in which Harbaugh reacted to defensive coordinator Scott Shafer leaving for Michigan last winter. According to multiple sources, Harbaugh stood before his team and sharply criticized Shafer for his lack of loyalty to the program and the university. How did the chat with the Jets go, by the way?
Action: Jim Mora takes over as head coach of the Seahawks.
Reaction I: Seems to me that if Mora wants to bring in his own offensive line coach, Stanford assistant (and alum) Chris Dalman would be a pretty good candidate. Dalman played for the 49ers while Mora was an assistant (late 1990s), and Dalman was an assistant OL coach for Atlanta (2005-06) when Mora was the Falcons’ head coach. Plus, Dalman has proven to be a top notch strategist/teacher with the zone-blocking scheme he’s deployed on The Farm.
Reaction II: If Dalman left, yes, it would be a huge blow.
Wilner also has Cal at # 18 in men’s hoops.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
flatscreen HDTV question
My TV technology is a little behind the times. I’ve got this awesome large wall above my wood-burning fireplace that screams “carp, buy a HiDef flatscreen TV and make it a large one. And by large, I mean I want it to feel like Marshawn’s in your living room and it scares the baby.” Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.
Anyway, the question is this: is it possible that smoke and heat will ruin my flatscreen TV? What’s the best TV to get for this situation? Will I be able to enjoy my TV AND fireplace at the same time without fearing the worst?
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Unless all the smoke from your fireplace comes out the front, I think you’ll be okay.
I have no new information on that at this time.
not too much smoke, but you can always smell some smoke. I’m more worried about the heat…
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
http://www.plasmatvbuyingguide.com/plasmatv-questions/plasmatvfire_1.html#08063891
It should be safe. I doubt your fireplace will cause heat above the television’s operable range.
I have no new information on that at this time.
cool…thanks!
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
buy a panasonic or samsung…unless you got the big bucks and can go for a Pioneer Kuro. samsung usually a little better quality, but also if you have any problems with the TV samsung’s service is a joke, pansonic’s service is very good. that being said, i have a panasonic 42’’.
If you have a Costco membership, they’re a great place to buy HDTVs. They usually have sales on a few models per week and their prices are great. Furthermore, they extend the manufacturer’s warranty to two years (they used to have a lifetime return policy until people abused it enough that it was eliminated).
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 12:02 PM PST up reply actions
I’ll check them out…plus I get like 2% a year back from them so I like to get my big ticket items from Costco.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
just don’t go to Costco and impulse buy. figure out what you want, ask us about it, then buy. keep in mind that in store viewing will basically tell you NOTHING. amazon reviews on TVs also can be very helpful.
ok…I’ll “window” shop this weekend and report early next week. Here’s my wants:
1) Awesome viewing experience
2) Reliable/minimal maintenance
3) Simplicity – my grandpa’s HDTV setup requires you to hit like 45 buttons in order for it to turn on.
Anything else I should know?
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Compatibility with Blu Ray, as well as ability to accept wireless streams and bluetooth connectivity.
I have no new information on that at this time.
someone told me not to buy the Blu Ray hype…was he wrong? Will we be seeing a Blu Ray explosion like we did with the tape—>CD and VHS—>DVD?
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
I sincerely doubt it will be that big.
But the quality of Blu Ray, when implemented properly, is phenomenal. If you’re going to buy a new tv, you want to take full advantage of it.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Agreed, Blu Ray will be limited by the cost of the discs themselves (though the Blu Ray players are finally falling below $200, with Blu Ray computer drives falling below $100). By the time Blu Ray is cheap enough for a mass market to emerge like what happened with DVDs, online streaming of HD movies may be the norm.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 12:49 PM PST up reply actions
RE: Disc costs
DVDs cost a lot too when it first released.
Give it time, Blu-Rays will catch on
I lost my Blu-Ray virginity when I bought a PS3 last July. I honestly find it hard to watch normal DVDs now.
Just yesterday I (re-)watched Band of Brothers on Blu-Ray… so beautiful…
In other words, Go Bears!
For the sake of convenience, make sure it has more than enough ports for whatever you’ll connect to it (DVD player, Xbox/Playstation, PC, etc). Spare ports (particularly HDMI ports) are always good to have in case you decide to buy some other peripheral to connect to your tv at some point in the future.
Also, try not to be swayed by numerical specifications as opposed to what the picture actually looks like. Contrast ratio, in particular, is measured differently depending on the manufacturer, so it is a poor number to use to compare models. TVs with a refresh rate of 120Hz are more expensive and usually not worth it. Also, unless you’re getting a TV 50" or larger, 1080p is not worth a several-hundred dollar markup (unless you’re also going to use the tv as a computer monitor).
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 12:38 PM PST up reply actions
how about this one?
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
It’s not a natural widescreen resolution (which is one reason why I don’t like a lot of plasma tvs). It’s 1024×768. For that TV, the horizontal rows of pixels have pixels stretched so that they fit into a widescreen format. What you want is at least 1280×720 or 1366×768 (those two resolutions are almost interchangeable). Try looking at LCD tvs too. They are very competitvely priced against plasmas.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 12:54 PM PST up reply actions
one more thing
where are all of her cables/wires? How is this possible without some major wall rearrangement?
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
they feed INSIDE the wall. you have to drill the wall and feed the line down/up/wherever. this is usually professionally done for a ripoff type price.
do you think I could buy elongated wires? My nearest closet/cabinet is a good 15-20 feet away
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Monoprice has good cheap long cables. Don’t get snookered into buy expensive cables, use HDMI and since it’s digital quality is less important.
and who keeps fruit on their family room coffee table? The off-centeredness of the fireplace would drive me yonkers.
YONK!
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
HONK.
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:27 PM PST up reply actions
I guess you would know best about what the “worst meme ever” is.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
This.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
Dude, my wife and I are going to totes do that!! We’ve been looking at that. You can get like a 30 incher for only 450 or so bucks.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I’ll give your wife my 30-incher for free!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:09 PM PST up reply actions
HONK
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
Have you seen Twist’s wife? You’ll need at least a 50 incher before she even considers you.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
Damn, I am so fucked.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
No, you’re not. Somehow, you tricked her into marrying you. So you win.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
What do I win?
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Thoroughbred’s 30 incher.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
A lot better than my zero incher.
BTW, if you actually do have a free 30 inch HDTV, I am IN EVERY WAY, interested, contact me at the GoldenBlogs contact email.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
contact carp first…he’s got a real e-mail
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Contact Twist first, he is the architect of this giant time-waster.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
contact carp first, he’s more desperate
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Contact Twist first, his wife will briefly look in your general direction and smile.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
you got me there…mrs. carp hasn’t been smiling since she’s 8 weeks preggo and bitches 24/7/365 (no yoke) about not feeling well…we’ve got our first doctor’s appointment today.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Congrats! Mazel Tov! L’Chaim!
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Will your baby cut into your blog posting time?
My guess: No.
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:50 PM PST up reply actions
carp’s guess: blogging time might increase…at least until he (I hope it’s a he) is T-ball age
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
You sound like you’re going to be a great father
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:52 PM PST up reply actions
well..we’re hoping uncle Fred is sober enough to be the first base coach…not sure he should throw bp though…we’re hoping the background check goes through. Uncle Bob might be the P/C coach and Uncle Jim might be the IF/3rd base coach.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
How about this 65"
Wipe the drool off before returning to work
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
What about the heat transferred through the wall?
by CaliforniaCMB on Jan 13, 2009 2:09 AM PST up reply actions
For the record, I think a strong argument could be made to put Cal at 16. Cal has, in my opinion, the strongest resume up to that point. Of course, none of this matters in college basketball – well, maybe with NCAA seeding it does.
It'll be just you, me, and Peter Nincompoop.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still can’t believe we are actually ranked.
by rollonubears on Jan 12, 2009 6:51 PM PST up reply actions
having seen most of this team's games this year
i totally expected us to be ranked.
So, basically, you gotta Go Bears!
Honk?
Dude, that isn’t funny. This is funny (sfw):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PIAYaxOkWU&fmt=18
I’m sorry, I don’t go to your place of highlight making and tell you how to splice that most recent Nickelback song into a video.
Or do I?
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Fast-forward now to the fourth quarter of Sunday’s playoff game against the Giants. The Eagles had a 20-11 lead with about six minutes left, and everyone expected them to grind down the clock with running plays. Instead, on second down, McNabb went for the jugular, firing a clothesline strike to Jackson down the right sideline (nobody throws a prettier ball than McNabb, in rhythm, on this route). Jackson made the catch in stride, dancing his way to the 1-yard line, and the Eagles cashed in a field goal to ice the game.
There’s simply no room for the theatrics associated with Jackson (or Terrell Owens, or Chad Johnson, so many others) when the playoffs arrive. When Jackson looks across the field next Sunday, he’ll see one of the best, Larry Fitzgerald, the classy and supremely talented receiver who caught 8 balls for 166 yards in Arizona’s win over Carolina. Jackson can reach that level, if he really wants it. He took a significant step against the Giants.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Except Fitzgerald has 6 inches and 50 lbs on Jackson.
I outworthless the Maharg.
by HolmoePhobe on Jan 12, 2009 11:27 AM PST up reply actions
carp's Top 5 Golden Globes: Crackheads and Bad Ass Mofos
My wife made me watch the GG’s last night…so, without further ado:
Cracheads
1. Colin Farrell
2. Kate Winslett
3. Miley Cyrus
4. Dustin Hoffman/Emma Thompson
5. The guy representing Tina Fey for her award.
Also considered:
The Jonas Brothers, Alec Baldwin, and Sandra Bullock
Bad Ass Mofos
1. Martin Scorcese (sp?)
2. Steven Spielberg
3. Dwight from The Office
4. Diddy
5. Paul Giammatti
Also considered:
Steve Carrell
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SFW pics…including Hayden Panettiere…I’m not even sure why she was invited…
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It’s nice to see us back up there with the big boys
Bama and tOSU seem kinda high…Penn St>tOSU I think…and of course everyone likes ND after the Hawaii bowl…I like Ole Miss and Snead.
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LSU is getting way too much love after their bowl win.
I have no new information on that at this time.
is different than other preseasons?
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At least when LSU gets this much love, it earned it the year before.
This is based off one damn bowl victory against an opponent they had a whole month to study and prepare for.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Schlabach from ESPN has Cal at #20 in his pre-preseason rankings. Other Pac-10 teams include Oregon (17) and USC (4).
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 10:46 AM PST up reply actions
I actually think this poll is pretty weird…
PennSt too low…
Huge jumps for Florida State, Kansas, Notre Dame (and Cal for that matter) based on returning talent… but not much else.
I"m more comfortable with us at #25-#20
Isn’t that the only way to do these polls, based on returning talent?
It'll be just you, me, and Peter Nincompoop.
True… that’s the way I would do it if pressed… but makes me wonder if that was the case, then why isn’t OleMiss a bit higher…where is TCU, Tulsa… or even Miami? Well, maybe not Miami.
Our team responded well after losing Callahan and Phillip. I think OleMiss can live with that loss.
I think OleMiss is an underrated team because the press hates Nutt and like us they don’t have a great name brand like LSU… but in reality, they were the only team to beat the Nat Champs.
Houston Nutt is a tremendously underrated coach, but don’t underestimate the impact of a franchise tackle like Oher.
That said, Jevan Snead is really impressive. If Nutt can just bust inside and win games that he should win, he could have Ole Miss poised for big things.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Nutt can just bust inside
I see what you did ther.e
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
also found NSFW Houston Nutt (for language, not nudity).
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WTF KANSAS SHOULD NEVER BE RANKED UNTIL THET EARN IT
I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO LOOK AT THIS POLL NOW
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 10:52 AM PST up reply actions
Me thinks…Reesing’s a senior…blah blah blah…they’ll get killed
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What team in the Big XII North would you say should be ranked higher than Kansas?
I have no new information on that at this time.
How bout not ranking any of them??
Nebraska, for one.
While I’m mad…
WTF DID USF EVER DO TO EARN RANKINGS EVERY YEAR? BEING DOMINATED BY OREGON’S 4TH STRING, THEN GOING 7-5 DOESN’T INSPIRE ANYTHING… I HATE THE LEAST COAST
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 10:59 AM PST up reply actions
Well, Kansas finished the year off strong. I definitely think they’re favourites in the Big XII North.
As for USF, they have a habit of starting off hot, then fading down the stretch. 2007 was a clear example – victories over WVU and Auburn, then they lost to Rutgers and two other Big East teams.
The media kinda roots for them as the 4th Florida power (in addition to UF, FSU, and Miami).
I have no new information on that at this time.
Nebraska ended the season with 4 straight wins, including a drubbing of Kansas.
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 11:20 AM PST up reply actions
any RC (remote control) car enthusiasts…I’m not talking about the things you had when you were 8…I’m talking about a nitro-powered baby like this one:
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Not an enthusiast
but that looks like something I could definitely get behind!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 11:21 AM PST up reply actions
I had a neighbor who had a few nitro-powered RC cars. He would have those things tear up and down the street at 30+mph. I can’t imagine what it would be like if they could reach 85 mph. You’d need a pretty big place to drive them.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 11:25 AM PST up reply actions
I stumbled upon this blog…and I’m an Instafan on the basis of their “Alabama Fan of the Week” series. I strongly suggest we implement such series. It could be “Biggest SC douchebag of the week” or something like that.
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A Must Read
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Matthew Stafford
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Stafford is the ugliest QB I’ve seen in a long time.
I have no new information on that at this time.
you'll also like this one
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On the flip side, Cal produced one of the handsomest QBs in a while in Kyle Boller.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Wow, I sound really gay right now.
brb time to drink beer and shoot animals.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Not as gay as someone who intentionally spells the word that way.
I have no new information on that at this time.
not a bad come back. Rishi 1, 33SS 1.
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Ghey = referring to Bohler as "handsome."
by 33SwisherSweet on Jan 12, 2009 12:38 PM PST up reply actions
Am I wrong?
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0aC76VSa5HcmO/610x.jpg
I have no new information on that at this time.
When I was at Cal, ALL the ladies loved Boller. They thought he was a superstud.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
A lot of ladies I know think Kevin Riley is really cute.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Plenty of ladies think Brock Mansion is dreamy too.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
All the men seem to think so too.
Joe Ayoob was good-looking too.
Maybe Cal can become Model QB U
I have no new information on that at this time.
We should also ask JO if he has a picture of the "ripped" Jeremy Ross
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
by Berkelium97 on Jan 12, 2009 1:32 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
HONK!
Joe Starkey...Scholar, Humanitarian, Cal legend, worst radio play by play man of all time.
by Fire Starkey on Jan 12, 2009 1:43 PM PST up reply actions
Gays? Where??
I outworthless the Maharg.
by HolmoePhobe on Jan 12, 2009 12:36 PM PST up reply actions
Bama Tires
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aBun-fJmULo/SOqaBr9-QeI/AAAAAAAAA1M/FDY2rdrh7VQ/s1600/0928081158.jpg
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congrats Rickey...First Ballot HoFer
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http://www.athleticsnation.com/2009/1/12/718492/your-new-hall-of-famers
sadly…28 voters did not vote for him…that is horseshit.
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PC P10 POW ....again!
California junior Patrick Christopher has been named the U.S. Bank Pac-10 Men’s Basketball Player of the Week for Jan. 5-11, Commissioner Tom Hansen announced today.
Christopher led Cal to a 57-50 win at Washington State and an 88-85 thrilling triple-overtime victory at Washington to increase the Bears’ current winning streak to nine games and a perfect 4-0 record in Pac-10 play. The Compton, Calif., native averaged 24.5 points, 6.0 rebounds and 1.5 assists while shooting 53.3 percent from three-point range.
Against the Huskies, Christopher scored a career-high 27 points and tied his career high in rebounds with 11. The junior ranks seventh in the Pac-10 in scoring (16.1 ppg) and is tied for ninth in three-point field goal percentage (.417).
This is the second consecutive weekly honor for Christopher and the 41st overall for Cal.
BOOM GOT THEM THO!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:03 PM PST up reply actions
Emerald Bowl has fourth highest December bowl ratings
ESPN wants to keep the bowl system because the ratings are up! Arrrrgh.
Holiday and Alamo, then Champ Sports, then Emerald.
EagleBank Bowl: 2008- 2.2, 2007- No Game
New Mexico: 2008- 2.6, 2007- 2.0
magicJack St. Petersburg: 2008- 1.3, 2007- No Game
Pioneer Las Vegas: 2008- 2.5, 2007- 2.1
R+L Carriers New Orleans: 2008- 0.8, 2007- 1.6
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia: 2008- 3.2, 2007- 1.7
Sheraton Hawaii: 2008- 2.6, 2007- 1.5
Motor City: 2008- 2.5, 2007- 2.3
Meineke Car Care: 2008- 3.9, 2007- 3.2
Champs Sports: 2008- 4.5, 2007- 3.2
Emerald: 2008- 4.0, 2007- 3.1
Independence: 2008- 1.0, 2007- 1.6
Papajohns.com: 2008- 2.4, 2007- 1.9
Valero Alamo: 2008- 4.6, 2007- 2.3
Roady’s Humanitarian: 2008- 2.4, 2007- 0.7
Pacific Life Holiday: 2008- 4.6, 2007- 3.7
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces: 2008- 1.7, 2007- 1.7
Gaylord Hotels Music City: 2008- 2.8, 2007- 3.4
Chick-fil-A: 2008- 3.9, 2007- 4.4
Outback: 2008- 3.1, 2007- 2.9
Capital One: 2008- 6.4, 2007- 9.9
Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi: 2008- 11.7, 2007- 11.1
AutoZone Liberty: 2008- 2.7, 2007- 3.5
International: 2008- 2.1, 2007- 1.4
GMAC: 2008- 2.2, 2007- 1.0
FedEx Orange: 2008- 5.4 (-27), 2007- 7.4 (Sugar Bowl in same time slot)
Allstate Sugar: 2008- 8.4 (+8), 2007- 7.9
Tostitos Fiesta: 2008- 10.4 (+35%), 2007- 7.7
That’s pretty good considering that the Holiday Bowl is a premiere bowl, the Alamo bowl is typically an exciting game and this year, was fun to watch, and the Champs Sports Bowl? Well, it sucked, but it had Wisconsin and FSU – two big names.
Out of curiosity, what were the numbers for the BCS NCG?
I have no new information on that at this time.
Nice!
profile image on Jahvid’s myspace page
The ironic thing is there’s probably a damn good chance that he will be on the cover next year.
I think they use people who graduated, sometimes from more than one year ago
NCAA 08-McFadden
NCAA 07-Boise State QB, Zobranskie?
NCAA 06-Bush
NCAA 05-Desmond Howard (uhh, ok)
NCAA 04-Carson Palmer
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 1:23 PM PST up reply actions
A slight mistake
’98 – Danny Wuerffel
’99 – Charles Woodson
’00 – Ricky Williams
’01 – Shaun Alexander
’02 – Chris Weinke
’03 – Joey Harrington
’04 – Carson Palmer
’05 – Larry Fitzgerald
’06 – Desmond Howard (Because of his iconic pose fit well with the new “Race for the Heisman” feature)
’07 – Reggie Bush
’08 – Jared Zabransky
’09 – Darren McFadden (360)/Matt Ryan (PS3)/DeSean Jackson (PS2)/Owen Schmitt (PSP)/Sparty (Wii)
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
It’s cool, anyone who gets on that cover gets the mini-EA sports curse.
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 1:26 PM PST up reply actions
DeSean must have been immune to the dreaded curse, thankfully.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
DON’T JINX HIM HE’S STILL PLAYING NOOOOOO!!!!
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 1:31 PM PST up reply actions
Well, I don’t believe in all that… I was thrilled to see desean make and I’d be stoked to see Jahvid get that honor too.
Yeah, but you can look at that list above and see that they’re not exactly flourishing as pros.
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 1:34 PM PST up reply actions
Um, yeah… and I’m sure it all has to do with EA video game covers rather than bloated expectations and spoiled work ethics.
HONK
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
RACIST!
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Ah, but does not it say that he who denied it supplied it?
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Not even when your pants are feeling heavy and you’re driving in your Chevy?!
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 2:21 PM PST up reply actions
Or when you’re running up to first and your butt is gonna burst?
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 2:55 PM PST up reply actions
You forgot second…
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:02 PM PST up reply actions
YOU'RE OUT!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:02 PM PST up reply actions
Yes but when the next guy was up at bat he heard a loud splat…
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:06 PM PST up reply actions
How dare you say Reggie Bush had bloated expectations!!! He was only supposed to run for 3000 yards every year!
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 1:43 PM PST up reply actions
Mitchell Schwartz and Follett both on the All Rivals Bowl Team
LINK.
Schwartz helped running back Jahvid Best rush for 186 yards and two touchdowns in a 24-17 win over Miami.
Follett sacked QB Jacory Harris and stripped the ball from him inside Miami’s 10 to set up the go-ahead touchdown in California’s 24-17 victory. Follett finished the game with nine tackles – four for loss – and two sacks.
no Best? is there a back who had a better game?
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Colorado St’s RB put up almost 300 yards against Fresno St. Apparently Cincy’s RB did very well, but I don’t remember watching that game.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
that’s because you were either with family/friends or you were on bowl burnout after the Sugar bowl.
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or because
who in the fuck wants to watch VT vs Cinnci
I think Berk meant UConn RB Donald Brown, who had 200+ yards in the international bowl… I think his team only tried one pass attempt
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:54 PM PST up reply actions
Where’s alex mack? How many times did Jahvid crack it straight up the middle…?? Instead they go Max Unger?? How many times did JJ, Bluntman and Masoli run it right up the middle
I kinda think Masoli’s a little bitich. I know, he likes to run around and all that…but I’m placing him right next to Rudy Carpenter…Kevin Craft is the worst.
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I like Masoli because Jesse Palmer says he has cankles!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:51 PM PST up reply actions
Don't worry
Mack will have the last laugh when he’s drafted before that Oregon JFuck
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 1:41 PM PST up reply actions
his name and position make him sound like a big, badass D-lineman with visible tatoos, long curly black hair, a head that struggles to fit into most helmets, and tenacity not seen since the days of Tosh M. Lupoi, III.
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More on Keni
here is a solid amount of information from an old BYU Scout article (no subscription needed): LINKY
interestingly enough, he is also oline USC commit John Martinez’s adopted brother.
Martinez committed? Bummer…you win some/lose some
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not over till LOI is signed…but I think Cal only looking to add one more on the oline. main target being hasiak
I think he’s also from Isi Sofele’s HS (Cottonwood). The Bears seem to do well at one out of state high school (like Chandler, AZ). I bet they’re very respectful of HS coaches and keep them in the loop with e-mails, phone calls, mailers, etc.
A good high school coach can have a huge influence on a HS athlete.
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People were thinking they would come as a package
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:36 PM PST up reply actions
Rivals/Scout love that package deal thing…in reality that rarely happens, right?
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Yup
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:43 PM PST up reply actions
Usually only for siblings
and even then, it’s never a given
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:44 PM PST up reply actions
Sweet
He’s a very strong and fast DT… but he’s not the space-eater NT usually seen in 3-4 schemes, so I don’t know if that’s where we’re recruiting him. His final two were Arkansas and Cal, after he got out of his committed to Utah last year
Deandre Coleman is listed as a DT, but he is recruited to play SS DE at Cal
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:16 PM PST up reply actions
From Rivals:
A bruising 6-foot-2, 275-pound nose tackle, Kaufusi was a first-team 2007 Salt Lake City Tribune all-State selection after his senior year in which he garnered 57 tackles (20 for losses) and 9 sacks for the 10-2 Cottonwood Colts.
Kaufusi’s talent is unmistakable, and a number of college coaches have told BearTerritory over the past two months that he could be the best defensive tackle in the west this season. However, because Kaufusi was a class of 2008 signee (with Utah), and his highlight tape has never been published, he’s gone deeply under the radar.
Nevertheless, the Bears are ecstatic about adding this SLC big man, and the feeling is mutual.
“Coach (Tosh) Lupoi was my lead recruiter, and he started recruiting me around the middle of this past season,” Kaufusi recalled, referring to the former Golden Bear defensive end great current assistant coach at Cal. “We have a great relationship. When I went to the practice, I could see how mean his guys are, and I liked that a lot. It was very intense.”
“Coach Lupoi is like a friend and a brother to me too though. It is hard to describe, but I couldn’t imagine playing for anyone else.”
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:18 PM PST up reply actions
Coach Lupoi is like a friend and a brother to me too though
when you here stuff like this, you know you’ve got a recruiter…this sounds like they’ve done their homework:
Kaufusi’s talent is unmistakable, and a number of college coaches have told BearTerritory over the past two months that he could be the best defensive tackle in the west this season. However, because Kaufusi was a class of 2008 signee (with Utah), and his highlight tape has never been published, he’s gone deeply under the radar.
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And you know Lup is at the program to stay…
Rejoice!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:24 PM PST up reply actions
Lupoi is a rising star…great job by Tedford and Co. Many thought the move was too soon (bringing Lupoi in to coach D-line). He’s done a great job.
I was hoping we’d hop on the Coach O bandwagon before Kiffin took ‘em…not sure what he’d do but it be nice if he was “asst head coach” and he could help out both lines.
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aye... we don't need any more 2 star guys
They never pan out… except for Alex Mack that is…. well, and Forsett….maybe Tepper… oh yeah, Hicks and RoJo….Tad Smith, Mike Mohamed, Andrew Larson, Kendrick Payne, Nabufie, Decoud, Matt Giordano, Greg Van Hosen… Tim Mixon…
But really, other than those guys… 2 star recruits NEVER work out for us.
—- Jokes aside, from where we sit we can’t tell much about this guy, but our coaches have a track record of finding the gems… so I’m just going to trust them on this one.
Danzig got mad jokes
… He’s only a two-star though because the recruiting sites don’t have his tape. All reports are that he’’s a monster. They breed em nasty in the UT… Just ask Bama!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:22 PM PST up reply actions
Oh I have complete confidence in our coaching staff and I think Lupoi has improved our DT recruiting immensely…. he’s doing a great job so far too because I can really see a lot of improvement in Hill.
I agree, great choice. I’m still not completely sold on Daft as WR coach. How the group performs next season should be insightful.
Wasn't Kevin Hart a 2 -star recruit?
God, I can’t believe we didnt offer that kid….
by 33SwisherSweet on Jan 12, 2009 2:41 PM PST up reply actions
Very realistic and probable…
I’m more worried about schools adjusting to our 3-4 scheme after getting all the tape on it last year and the personnel losses
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
good point…the LB’s will prolly be down a smidge, but I think Cal’s DL (Alualu and Jordan) as well as our DBs (especially Hagan) Syd will likely get more consistent/smarter (trick the QB into thinking the WR is open). I really think the D will be very good next year – even with the LB’s being (relatively) unknown.
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also, if we don’t get Kennard I bet we lean more towards any LB blitzing and not “here comes Follett” so I think they’ll have to re-adjust to Cal’s 3-4.
Gregory…Comeback Coordinator of the Year?
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More like....
Got His Head Out of His Ass Coordinator of the Year
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:46 PM PST up reply actions
ahh yes…the BBDB with 4 D-linemen rushing…completely predictable.
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Other than the scheme
Gregory really didn’t change much in his playcalling. Stack the line on first down to stop the run, zone coverage and blitzes in passing situations.
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 2:47 PM PST up reply actions
The award was for the scheme change because they obvious strength of our D was 3 NFL-Bound senior LBs…
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:49 PM PST up reply actions
Yeah, I’m not sure it’s good to stick with it now that it isn’t.
by BearsNecessity on Jan 12, 2009 2:52 PM PST up reply actions
Well, I tend to agree with his assessment that it’s much easier to recruit LBs on the West Coast, and that’s why we’ll keep it
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:55 PM PST up reply actions
hopefully it will be Alamar’s turn next year.
Cignetti trying to become Norm Chow would be neat too.
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I think Cignetti just needs to utilize our TEs next year. We have 3 that I’m sure will be studs and Sunday players. I think Ladner will be a big threat next year.
Alamar doesn’t get enough respect for Morrah/Stevens development
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:52 PM PST up reply actions
that’s because “Alamar Specials” doesn’t refer to TE play…I like Stevens…Morrah too.
I wonder if we see a lot of 3 TE sets (with either 2 or 3 RBs) next year on 2nd/3rd and 5. We could run or pass out that and create weird mismatches (Ladner on a DB, Morrah on an LB, Best or Vereen with anyone).
I hope Ladner’s the # 1 TE and Morrah is a frequently played 2nd TE/H-back (like how he was used in ’07).
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Miller’s catch was just a sign of things to come….
I think Tad Smith is our best blocking TE though
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:04 PM PST up reply actions
I haven’t read that post, but the arrest he had was cleared up long ago… Don’t worry, Tedford and co. won’t take a guy who hasn’t explained himself and come away clean
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 2:53 PM PST up reply actions
This look like a dude who sits in the backseat?
Does he even look like he’s not already 25 and playing on Sundays?
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:06 PM PST up reply actions
Hey, you’re not allowed to walk through the drive-thru window. I’ve tried. You just can’t.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:08 PM PST up reply actions
Another article on Keni
Looks to be some jealous Ute fans commenting…
Fuck Ute fans
they should have lost to Oregon State, TCU, and Michigan this year… Now, they’re pompous about their BCS win
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:33 PM PST up reply actions
Whatever, I know if we were in their position we would be pretty pompous/pissed off too.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:47 PM PST up reply actions
I wouldn’t. I keep things in perspective
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:55 PM PST up reply actions
JO’s season-in-review looks at the D-line
Junior Tyson Alualu made 62 tackles — including six sacks — and earned All-Pac-10 second team honors. HIs sacks were the most of any down lineman. Sophomore Cameron Jordan had 47 tackles and four sacks, earning all-conference honorable mention and starting to show glimpses of his untapped potential. Rulon Davis had four sacks despite missing four games with a broken foot. Mika Kane and Derrick Hill each held their own manning the nose tackle spot.
Surely, Follett’s 10.5 sacks were aided by the work being done by the defensive line. The Bears usually were able to get pressure on the quarterback when they only rushed four guys (the three lineman and a linebacker). Unlike 2007, there weren’t many times when it seemed the opposing quarterback was able to just consistently stay in the pocket with all kinds of time to throw. That usually only happened when the Bears only rushed the three down lineman.
The unit should be strong again next season. Jordan and Alualu could form one of the Pac-10’s best defensive end combinations, and Hill is ready, if he’s healthy, to assume the heavy workload in the middle. Keith Browner, Kendrick Payne and Trevor Guyton are around to provide quality depth. And other young players like Aaron Tipoti or perhaps incoming freshman DeAndre Coleman could make an impact as well.
2008 DEFENSIVE LINE GRADE: A
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
This calls for...
Rishi JO review. Rishi JO review!
I would just like to point out that every time my girlfriend looks at me and says one of her favorite catch lines of “You silly goose! HONK!” – I will be thinking of Twist. Thanks a lot.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
I’m pretty sure that his girlfriend’s photo is his Avatar photo.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I mean “NAILED IT!”
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
Why can’t it be both?
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
You’re the mememaster. I’ve yet to see your blessing over the “HONKED IT!”
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
IT HONKED!
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
Didn’t I DOUBLE HONK HONKED IT?
Shouldn’t that be your answer right there? Moreover, I doubt I’m the mememaster. I am, however, the Gate-keeper.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Maybe the me-me-master?
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
If you are implying that I am a wildly self-absorbed person who cares about little more than my personal appearance, then yes, I am the me-me-master
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I mean whatever you want it to mean.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
Are you coming on to me?
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS!
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
DOUBLE E-HONK!
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I am so disturbed right now.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 4:27 PM PST up reply actions
You seem worried.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
Given how much he does in spite of me, I’m not sure worried is really the right word.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Disturbed is the right wort.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 4:36 PM PST up reply actions
*d
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 4:36 PM PST up reply actions
Your JGirlfriend sounds like a keeper
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:34 PM PST up reply actions
So far, yeah. She actually likes college football too. I’m trying to teach the “Now fetch me a beer, woman” trick.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
YShoeFelt…if you really like her you shouldn’t treat her like that…rub her neck/feet and such
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Ahhh… So you’re saying I’m doing it wrong?
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
if you really, really like her, you guys should both buy season tickets to Cal football games in ’09. That and you should offer her to M. Kevin Riley, III if he beats SC this year.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
If it makes you feel better every time my wife climaxes she screams “JSHUFELT” really loudly.
It is…………so awkward.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I don’t think you’ve ever been in the same room when your wife climaxed… How’d you know?!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:44 PM PST up reply actions
Weird. It’s never bothered me.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
When you climax, do you go “BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARSBEARSBEARS”?
I have no new information on that at this time.
I generally go “This.”
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on Jan 12, 2009 3:54 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I generally say “REC’D!!!!”
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:55 PM PST up reply actions
Do you then turn green?
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
No. She does, though, but only after multiples.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 4:05 PM PST up reply actions
JO's season in review Part V
JO made 62 articles — including six front-pagers — and earned All-Pac-10 second team honors. His front-page articles were the most of any journalist for the Contra Costa Times. JO also had 47 interviews and four centerfolds, earning all-conference honorable mention and starting to show glimpses of his untapped potential.
Surely, JO’s 10.5 headliners were aided by the work being done by California Golden Blogs. The Bears usually were able to get inside information on the quarterback when they only watched pre-game rallies (the three wise men and TwistNHook). Unlike 2007, there weren’t many times when it seemed the opposing journalists was able to just consistently recycle news with all kinds of time to make stuff up. That usually only happened when the Bears only rushed the three wise men (and left Twist in his cage).
The unit should be strong again next season. Wilner and JO could form one of the Pac-10’s best journalist tag-teams, and Ragnorak is ready, if he’s healthy, to assume the heavy workload in the middle. Hydrotech, CBK Wit, and yellow fever are around to provide quality depth. And other young players like danzig or perhaps incoming freshman royrules22 could make an impact as well.
2008 BREAKING REPORTING GRADE: A
I have no new information on that at this time.
by Rishi on Jan 12, 2009 3:41 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
I love these. Rec’d.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
<3
As long as someone appreciates them, I’ll do them, even if I keep running out of material.
I have no new information on that at this time.
I love these. Flagged.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:53 PM PST up reply actions
Flagged…
Unless I get mentioned in an upcoming review
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 4:02 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
flagged for rec’ing nonexistant posts.
"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.
flagged for flagging nonexistant posts
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:48 PM PST up reply actions
Rec'd for flagging of flagging of recing of nonsexistant posts
Wait, this can go on forever.
I have no new information on that at this time.
Nonsexistant? Is that a new word used to describe your social life?
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:52 PM PST up reply actions
Since no one else will...
NAILED IT.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:56 PM PST up reply actions
NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT NONEXISTENT
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:57 PM PST up reply actions
your not your!!!
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 4:06 PM PST up reply actions
flagged for sheer dumbassery.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 3:53 PM PST up reply actions
Bitach Pls!
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 3:57 PM PST up reply actions
WFT man
wft.
Sheriff of the Welcome Team
In Spite of Twist!
by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 12, 2009 4:07 PM PST up reply actions
HONK!
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I think the best meme is always making fun of Twist’s sexual prowess
You ain't got it like Marshawn got it
by Thoroughbred on Jan 12, 2009 4:00 PM PST up reply actions
Well, when the most amount of action I’m getting is briefly grabbing other dudes boobs to yell “HONK” loudly, the jokes sort of write themselves.
Or so I would know, were I able to write jokes. Or understand how jokes are written.
Please disregard the above ramblings as those of a clearly delusional fan.
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Collegehumor is terrible, however
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1769025
A funny mock chat transcipt between Tebow and Erin Andrews.
I have no new information on that at this time.
by Rishi on Jan 12, 2009 6:05 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Calling my shot here and now, Jan. 12, just before lunch.
Yes, I could look like a complete fool in six or eight weeks, but I look like a complete fool regularly on the Hotline.
Yes, I’m risking the Wrath of Monty, which I’ve incurred before (the zingers can be removed on an out-patient basis).
But the California Golden Bears — the football school in Berkeley — are in the NCAA tournament. Book your flights to Portland, or Boise, or Dayton, or Miami … They’re in.
All they need to do from here out to earn an at-large bid is not screw up, and from what I’ve seen, they won’t.*
(* = Everything you read here becomes moot if there’s a serious injury to Jerome Randle, Patrick Christopher, Theo Robertson or Harper Kamp. Now back to your regularly-scheduled blather …)
Their coach is too good for them to fold, and so is their guard play — guards being the key to survival in college basketball.
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Ranall Carroll juice…no real new news…
Tedford...if you're reading this...I'LL WORK FOR FREE! I'll fill out your Coach's Poll!
Reading this blurb kind of turns me off to the guy. Now, I have no real idea what it’s like being in his shoes, not having been a coveted superstar high-school athlete. But to commit to USC and then shop around, and shop around some more, without ever truly de-committing from SC, doesn’t strike me as a guy struggling to make a difficult decision, a la Devon Kennard, who seems much more sincere. Instead, it seems like Carroll is just working the system to get a bunch of free trips and have a good time while his ego is stroked.
He may really be having a hard time deciding. He may indeed be a superb talent who will work hard and excel at the next level. And if he chooses Cal, I’ll be very pleasantly surprised. Still, he comes off (to me at least) as an arrogant prima dona.
Go Bears!
by California Pete on Jan 12, 2009 11:33 PM PST up reply actions
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Pac-12 On SBN
Pacific Takes (Pac-12) NORTH AddictedToQuack: (Oregon)
UW Dawg Pound: (Washington)
CougCenter: (Washington State)
BuildingTheDam: (Oregon State)
Rule Of Tree: (Stanford)
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs: (Cal)
SOUTH
BruinsNation: (UCLA)
ConquestChronicles: (USC)
HouseOfSparky: (ASU)
Arizona Desert Swarm: (Arizona)
TheRalphieReport: (Colorado)
Block U: (Utah)
Golden Bears Football Schedule
| Fresno St. | Sat 09/03 | W 36 - 21 |
@
Colorado
|
Sat 09/10 | W 36 - 33 |
| Presbyterian | Sat 09/17 | W 63 - 12 |
|
@
Washington
|
Sat 09/24 | L 23 - 31 |
|
@
Oregon
|
Thu 10/06 | L 15 - 43 |
|
USC
|
Thu 10/13 | L 9 - 30 |
|
Utah
|
Sat 10/22 | W 34 - 10 |
|
@
UCLA
|
Sat 10/29 | L 14 - 31 |
|
Washington St.
|
Sat 11/05 | W 30 - 7 |
|
Oregon St.
|
Sat 11/12 | W 23 - 6 |
|
@
Stanford
|
Sat 11/19 | L 28 - 31 |
|
@
Arizona St.
|
Fri 11/25 | W 47 - 38 |
|
@
Texas
|
Wed 12/28 | L 10 - 21 |
Pacific-12 Conference Standings
(updated 1.2.2012 at 11:12 PM PST)
| North | Conf | Overall | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| W | L | W | L | |
|
Oregon Ducks
|
8 | 1 | 12 | 2 |
|
Stanford Cardinal
|
8 | 1 | 11 | 2 |
|
Washington Huskies
|
5 | 4 | 7 | 6 |
|
California Golden Bears
|
4 | 5 | 7 | 6 |
|
Oregon St. Beavers
|
3 | 6 | 3 | 9 |
|
Washington St. Cougars
|
2 | 7 | 4 | 8 |
| South | Conf | Overall | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| W | L | W | L | |
|
USC Trojans
|
7 | 2 | 10 | 2 |
|
UCLA Bruins
|
5 | 4 | 6 | 8 |
|
Utah Utes
|
4 | 5 | 8 | 5 |
|
Arizona St. Sun Devils
|
4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
|
Arizona Wildcats
|
2 | 7 | 4 | 8 |
|
Colorado Buffaloes
|
2 | 7 | 3 | 10 |
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
