Look, dear reader, I get it. I understand the criticisms people level at us at California Golden Bloggers. Merely a shallow veneer of a blog surrounded by the endless chattering of inane teeth. A menagerie of unimportant and stunningly nonsensical comments, each one more stunningly nonsensical than the past. And I, as the leader of the inane teeth and nonsensical comments, accept those criticisms.
But every now, one of us manages to rise up against the endless supply of sludge that my "TwistNHook" character supplies to offer something above and beyond "The World's Most Amazing Penis Joke." Although, to be fair, that was quite the penis joke. The Maharg really nailed that one.
Generally, I am not that person to offer genuine content. But I thought, "Hey, if it doesn't kill me, it'll probably make CaliSeth a drunker person." And if there's one thing CaliSeth could use, it's more booze.
So, let's take a gander at some Colorado State players you might want to keep an eye on this Saturday. Bear with me, because I'm new to this whole "Taking Things Seriously" thing. I really hope I get this post done without straining a hammy or something. I feel myself getting light-headed already.
First, and hopefully I'm doing this right, is the Quarterback. This guy brings the ball up the court and looks to dish to an open player on the perimeter. Or, if you are running the Ben Braun offense, he just laterals back and forth from the running back and wide receiver until one of them gets tackled behind the line of scrimmage. CSU's QB is Billy Farris.
Here are Farris' numbers:
Farris has good numbers here. Great completion percentage and good average yards per game. Farris is a great QB and will be slinging the ball all over the field.
Next up we have the running backs. These guys generally play behind the quarterback. They have to be very agile to help start potential double plays and keep balls from going into the outfield. CSU has two good running backs, Kyle Bell and Gartrell Johnson.
Gartrell Johnson via grfx.cstv.com
Kyle Bell via grfx.cstv.com
Here are their numbers:
I feel as if Bell was the more hyped player going into the year, but Johnson is outplaying him. He has a better average, is getting more carried, and has more than double the yards. A 4.6 average is not exactly Marshawn 2004, but is still really, really good. Even the 3.9 is good. Cal's LB will have a good test against the two headed monster here.
Now, we certainly cannot forget the wide receivers. These guys are generally thinner than running backs, run down the field to catch the balls, and use an incredibly long pole to vault. Oh, how they love to vault. CSU appears to have 2 WRs putting up big numbers, Rashaun Greer and Dion Morton. Kory Sperry is their Tight End and he is putting up good numbers, too. A Tight End is like a Wide Receiver, but generally thicker and tries to stop the puck from entering the goal.
Rashaun Greer via grfx.cstv.com
Dion Morton via grfx.cstv.com
Kory Sperry via grfx.cstv.com
Here are their numbers:
Morton appears to be the greater long distance thread. He averages almost the exact same amount of yards per game as Greer, but has almost double the average per catch. Greer is the possession receiver. Sperry doesn't have amazing numbers, but they clearly are looking towards him to catch some balls each game. Cal's LBs should keep an eye on him exactly 9.9 yards down the field.
Ragnarok reminds me that:
You'll remember Kory Sperry from last year's game, when he was basically their go-to receiver. Cal didn't really have an answer for him, but he got hurt midway through the game, and CSU's offense kinda sputtered after that, except for the two hail mary drives at the end. The injury ended his season, but I seem to remember him getting some NFL talk at the beginning of last year. I'll be watching out for Kory Sperry.
Ok, ok, I need to sit down and elevate my legs. I can't keep this going forever now! I'll put up Part II soon. When I regain my train of thoughts and my arms stop shaking so much.
So, there you go. Those are the guys on the offense to keep an eye on. CSU is having one of its finest season in years. Their conference has yet to lose a game against the Pac10. Will Billy Farris and Co. continue that streak? Or can Cal finally get some pride for the Pac10?
Vaguely legitimate content hurt Twists brain. Did I do this thing right?
Yes (7 votes)
No (4 votes)
Oh God No (12 votes)
I really MUST hear this joke by The Maharg (26 votes)
49 total votes