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Cal v. Colorado State: Genuine Football-Related Content

Look, dear reader, I get it.  I understand the criticisms people level at us at California Golden Bloggers.  Merely a shallow veneer of a blog surrounded by the endless chattering of inane teeth.  A menagerie of unimportant and stunningly nonsensical comments, each one more stunningly nonsensical than the past.  And I, as the leader of the inane teeth and nonsensical comments, accept those criticisms.

But every now, one of us manages to rise up against the endless supply of sludge that my "TwistNHook" character supplies to offer something above and beyond "The World's Most Amazing Penis Joke."  Although, to be fair, that was quite the penis joke.  The Maharg really nailed that one.

Generally, I am not that person to offer genuine content.  But I thought, "Hey, if it doesn't kill me, it'll probably make CaliSeth a drunker person."  And if there's one thing CaliSeth could use, it's more booze. 

So, let's take a gander at some Colorado State players you might want to keep an eye on this Saturday.  Bear with me, because I'm new to this whole "Taking Things Seriously" thing.  I really hope I get this post done without straining a hammy or something.  I feel myself getting light-headed already.

Star-divide

Note:  All numbers are from here.  And check here for our pre-season roundtable.  Plus, I put a lot of stories and articles on CSU from Colorado newspapers in the DBD.

First, and hopefully I'm doing this right, is the Quarterback.  This guy brings the ball up the court and looks to dish to an open player on the perimeter.  Or, if you are running the Ben Braun offense, he just laterals back and forth from the running back and wide receiver until one of them gets tackled behind the line of scrimmage.  CSU's QB is Billy Farris.  

585899_medium

via csuramclub.colostate.edu

Here are Farris' numbers:

PASSING  GP  Effic  Cmp-Att-Int  Pct  Yards   TD  Long  Avg/G 
Farris, Billy   140.8  72-103-3  69.9  784  79  261.3

Farris has good numbers here.  Great completion percentage and good average yards per game.  Farris is a great QB and will be slinging the ball all over the field.

Next up we have the running backs.  These guys generally play behind the quarterback.  They have to be very agile to help start potential double plays and keep balls from going into the outfield.  CSU has two good running backs, Kyle Bell and Gartrell Johnson

2109119_medium

Gartrell Johnson via grfx.cstv.com

2109011_medium

Kyle Bell via grfx.cstv.com

Here are their numbers:

RUSHING  GP  Att  Gain  Loss  Net  Avg   TD  Long  Avg/G 
JOHNSON, Gartre  51  247  10  237  4.6  24  79.0 
Bell, Kyle   26  104  101  3.9  12  33.7

I feel as if Bell was the more hyped player going into the year, but Johnson is outplaying him.  He has a better average, is getting more carried, and has more than double the yards.  A 4.6 average is not exactly Marshawn 2004, but is still really, really good.  Even the 3.9 is good.  Cal's LB will have a good test against the two headed monster here.

Now, we certainly cannot forget the wide receivers.  These guys are generally thinner than running backs, run down the field to catch the balls, and use an incredibly long pole to vault.  Oh, how they love to vault.  CSU appears to have 2 WRs putting up big numbers, Rashaun Greer and Dion Morton. Kory Sperry is their Tight End and he is putting up good numbers, too.  A Tight End is like a Wide Receiver, but generally thicker and tries to stop the puck from entering the goal.

2109098_medium

Rashaun Greer via grfx.cstv.com

2109199_medium

Dion Morton via grfx.cstv.com

2109235_medium

Kory Sperry via grfx.cstv.com

Here are their numbers:

RECEIVING  GP  No.  Yards  Avg   TD  Long  Avg/G 
Greer, Rashaun   22  264  12.0  34  88.0 
Morton, Dion   12  246  20.5  79  82.0 
Sperry, Kory   11  109  9.9  22  36.3 

Morton appears to be the greater long distance thread.  He averages almost the exact same amount of yards per game as Greer, but has almost double the average per catch.  Greer is the possession receiver.  Sperry doesn't have amazing numbers, but they clearly are looking towards him to catch some balls each game.  Cal's LBs should keep an eye on him exactly 9.9 yards down the field.

Ragnarok reminds me that:

You'll remember Kory Sperry from last year's game, when he was basically their go-to receiver.  Cal didn't really have an answer for him, but he got hurt midway through the game, and CSU's offense kinda sputtered after that, except for the two hail mary drives at the end.  The injury ended his season, but I seem to remember him getting some NFL talk at the beginning of last year.  I'll be watching out for Kory Sperry.

Ok, ok, I need to sit down and elevate my legs.  I can't keep this going forever now!  I'll put up Part II soon.  When I regain my train of thoughts and my arms stop shaking so much.

So, there you go.  Those are the guys on the offense to keep an eye on.  CSU is having one of its finest season in years.  Their conference has yet to lose a game against the Pac10.  Will Billy Farris and Co. continue that streak?  Or can Cal finally get some pride for the Pac10?

Poll
Vaguely legitimate content hurt Twists brain. Did I do this thing right?
Yes
7 votes
No
4 votes
Oh God No
12 votes
I really MUST hear this joke by The Maharg
26 votes

49 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs  |  Comment 75 comments

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Colorado State Post-Game Thoughts

Oct 2008 by HydroTech - 73 comments

Comments

Display:

Baron Davis?

So this is what Baron Davis does during the offseason… (Rashaun Greer).

Rashaun is a Baron Davis with a thinner head..
Anyone else feel this way?

Can’t wait for the game.
USC lost is tragic for the pac10.. I was hoping to take on an undefeated USC later in the season.. oh well

Clean Cut Media – Formerly Oh So Easy – paulieside

by cleancutmedia on Sep 26, 2008 9:18 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Question for Twist

Who is the bowler for CSU?

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 10:05 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Uttar Pradesh’s proudest son, Piyush Chawla.

Bee Tee Dubyaz, Uttar Pradesh is my second fav pradesh behind, of course, Pradesh Pradesh.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 10:10 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

There’s no Pradesh Pradesh Pradesh? I’m disappointed.

by sec119 on Sep 26, 2008 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well, that just plain makes no sense,sec119. You have embarrassed Spazzy McGhee’s ancestors yet again.

PS Stegosaurus Pradesh is quickly becoming my fav Pradesh!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Clearly it’s because his name has SEC in it.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It was a lot better than his original name of MountainWest119.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 11:04 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

How the fuck do you know about cricket?

FWIW Chawla is decent

In other words, Go Bears!

by royrules22 on Sep 26, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I know many things. Many things about Google.com.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

But have you seen Uttar Pradesh better? I never said that Chawla was the great ever. He’s no Mohmmed Nissar or anything. But still, who from my second favorite Pradesh is better?

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I predict many players from Utah have been on the Niners and have been EPICALLY better than Alex Smith, independent of Alex Smith.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Clearly, I'm talking about QBs.

Even then, you may be right.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 2:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Clearly, I’m talking about bowlers from Uttar Pradesh. Not Goa. Not Maharasthra. And CERTAINLY not Pradesh Pradesh!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Why do you always hate on Pradesh Pradesh?

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

WORST.PRADESH.EVER!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You're the worst Pradesh ever.

Think of what the state of TwistNHook Pradesh would be.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dude, when rankng the Pradeshes TwistNHook Pradesh would be near the top:

1. TwistNHook Pradesh
2. Uttar Pradesh
3. Goa

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

You’re clearly forgetting Himachal Pradesh, which would easily win a war against TwistNHook Pradesh.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey look at that. A recent Google search has told me that, in fact, Himachal Pradesh is a place that exists. Did not know that. And here’s Himachal Pradesh University! What a delightfully advanced website they have there! Go fighting Himachals!

TwistNHook Pradesh would destroy Himachal Pradesh once we unleash our Fighting The Mahargs on them! Their Stegosaurii wouldn’t stand a chance!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Clearly...

You are forgetting the height advantage the Fighting Himchals have. Plus, they’re in the same conference as the Andra Pradesh Wildcats (because every third team is the Wildcats).

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I wonder if ANYBODY else has any idea what we are, in specific, talking about. I have had to use Google too much today as is. I doubt others are as interested as I.

GO PRADESH!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It’s okay – no one ever understands you anyway.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

For reasons I can’t understand.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Tom Holmoe

Mr. Holmoe (though originally from Los Angeles) played for BYU in college, then played 7 seasons at safety for the 49ers, winning 3 Super Bowls in the process.

How good was he? I have no idea. But he’s almost HAVE to be better than Alex Smith, right?

So, basically, you gotta Go Bears!

by ragnarok on Sep 26, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Okay smarty

No one asked for logic here…

Tom Holmoe’s son went t middle school with me.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Tom Holmoe’s son went to Andhra Pradesh High?

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yes, my middle school was called Andhra Pradesh High…

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I KNEW IT!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

We're so backwards in Andhra Pradesh!

We end all our middle school with “high”.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

How embarrassing

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Eh, they did enough of that themselves.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is what it must feel like to be kissed by a rose.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

At least you now know what a kiss feels like.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

And now I’m feeling kinda thorny.

Le sigh. I’ll show myself out.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

TINY FACTOR SEVEN.

Sorry, I’ve been drinking.

And I’m still at work.

by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 26, 2008 5:22 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Crap, I had this written just as yours posted!

by turkey on Sep 26, 2008 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

His son went with you to middle school too?

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

question

isn’t that wide receiver more of a long distance threat then a long distance thread?

unless, of course, the CSU tailors are the most dangerous part of the team. Then, it all makes sense.

I’m going to go practice rebounding now.

by LeonPowe on Sep 26, 2008 10:26 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Leon Powe, you're my favorite commentator on this blog

but you, Leon Powe, already have rebounding down pat. How about free throw shooting?

www.californiagoldenblogs.com

by CBKWit on Sep 26, 2008 10:36 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I thought I was your favorite commentator on this blog?

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

but but but

I enjoy rebounding so much.

If I’m not rebounding, I suppose the other thing I could do is go practice pick setting. Or ironing Kevin Garnett’s collared shirts.

by LeonPowe on Sep 26, 2008 10:38 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I thought

Bryan Schutte was your favorite commentator on this blog.

by LeonPowe on Sep 26, 2008 10:41 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I have read about perimeter dishes, pole-vaulting, and puck-blocking in this post, but I am bothered by the lack of dressage. I thought a 1-pt defensive conversion (safety off a field goal attempt) forced some sort of dressage to decide who gains possession of the ball on the next drive. Isn’t this why USC brings a horse to every game? I always worried we’d give up a safety on a FG and we’d be forced to forfeit because we cannot compete in the dressage due to our lack of horses on field.

ಠ_ಠ

by Berkelium97 on Sep 26, 2008 11:07 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I have a post on the Defense coming up in the afternoon. Why you’d doubt me, I do not know.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Satya Sai Baba said what now?

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Still no Pradesh Pradesh Pradesh? I’m going home.

by sec119 on Sep 26, 2008 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Get out of here SEC

Your regulation is cleary stifling the CGB creativity.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Let me guess, you are an Andhra Pradesh fan and just trying to undermine us Uttar Pradesh enthusiasts!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

The greatest cricketeer from TwistNHook Pradeh is clearly Kyle Boller. What a boller!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Any truth to the rumor that CSU has traded for Ritchie McCaw?

by OskiMonsta on Sep 26, 2008 1:53 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Neverheard of that cricket bowler before?

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Don’t you think he clearly has the speed and handling skills to play a traditional tearaway’s linking role to superb effect?

by OskiMonsta on Sep 26, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No. I don’t think.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Not even a shallow veneer of a thought?

by OskiMonsta on Sep 26, 2008 2:33 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Well, yes, but those thoughts are stunningly non-sensical.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

4277 Comments

And here’s how he builds them up.

by Rishi on Sep 26, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

A pipe and a crepe?

by OskiMonsta on Sep 26, 2008 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I agree. Needs way more stegosaurus.

by CalBandGreat on Sep 26, 2008 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

hey don't diss

In other words, Go Bears!

by royrules22 on Sep 26, 2008 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

I know! I’m still waiting for The Maharg to tell us that joke!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yknow I just noticed that the capital of Uttar Pradesh is a city called Lucknow. I wish I had that nolej earlier when we were running the Pradesh bit more. Le sigh.

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 4:18 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

NAILLLLLLLLLLLLED IT!

I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Sep 26, 2008 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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