DBD 9.24.08 Ain't Nothing But A CGB Thang
by TwistNHook on Sep 24, 2008 7:20 AM PDT
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PrintIt has been brought to my attention that changing the lyrics in a rap or hip hop song can lead to hilarity. In my ever changing pursuit of hilarity, I thought I would try that. So, let's see if I can make Ain't Nothing But A G Thang funny by making it more CGB-oriented.
One, two, three and to the four
TwistNHook and The Maharg are at the door
Ready to make an entrance, therefore please back on up
Because you know we are about to make a series of nonsensical posts
Hmmm, not sure if that's sufficiently funny. Let's try again with a different part of the song.
It' s may this and like that and like that and uh It' s may that and like this and like that and uh It' s like this, as, who gives a Bumsen over? So jus' Shower, ' until the following episode
I put that through some BabelFish iterations. Hmm, that one isn't really working out, either. Perchance to sleep, perchance to dream, this rap word changing dealie isn't as good as people have promised.
One last attempt at hilarity?
DBDin' back on that ass with a hellified blogga' lean
Gettin' funky on the keyboard like a' old batch o' Eating The Enemy
It's the capital T, oh yes, the fresh W double I S
T N double H O O double K ya' see (BTW, I'm well aware this spells TWIISTNHHOOKK)
Showin' much vocabulary when it's time to rock a post
pimpin' Hydro and clockin' a grip like my name was Dorrell
Yeah, and it doesn't allow an opportunity to do genuine work
I think they in a mood for some mothafuckin' CGB shit
So The Maharg. [What up Twist?]
We gotta give 'em what dey want [What's that, Twist?]
We gotta break 'em off somethin' [Hell yeah]
And it's gotta be bumpin' [City of Moraga!]
Ok, minimal hilarity. Look, guys, I tried. I tried the whole "Take A Song And Change It's Lyrics For The Sake Of Hilarity." But it didn't work. And Tedford knows it's not me. I'm never NOT funny. It must be the concept of songs with changed lyrics. That's just a failed concept!
It can't be me. It just can't. Nobody could make this concept work. Nobody!
Especially not The Maharg. He rarely shows much vocabulary when rocking a post and/or clocking a grip as if his name was Dorrell.
Let's get to some links:
Women's volleyball takes on the Oregons:
The No. 8-ranked California volleyball team opens up Pac-10 play hosting the Oregon schools at Haas Pavilion this weekend. The Golden Bears take on No, 11 Oregon in a Friday (Sept. 26) match at 7 p.m. With a day's rest between matches, Cal will face Oregon State on Sunday (Sept. 28) in a matinee bout at 1 p.m. Last season, the Bears went 4-0 in matches against the Ducks and the Beavers, dropping only one set in Eugene, Ore. on the way to a fourth place finish in the Pac-10 and tying a school record with 12 conference victories. This weekend's visitors come to Haas with a 22-3 record between the two schools and have each had important wins over ranked opponents in pre-league tournaments. After tying a season high five straight victories, the Bears look to extend their streak when the Ducks and Beavers arrive.
THE FACTS: No. 8 Cal (10-1, 0-0 Pac-10) begins the Pac-10 conference portion of its schedule with two matches at home against No. 11 Oregon (11-1, 0-0 Pac-10) Friday (Sept. 26) at 7 p.m. and Oregon State (11-2, 0-0 Pac-10) Sunday (Sept. 28) at 1 p.m. The Golden Bears are 5-4 in Pac-10 home openers under 10th year head coach Rich Feller but have now won the last 11 matches played at Haas Pavilion dating back to a 3-2 victory over Washington Oct. 11, 2007. Coverage includes Gametracker live statistics and a live video feed available via CalBears.com All-Access.
Men's soccer takes on USF:
This Week
The No. 6 California men's soccer team looks to rebound this week after suffering its first loss of the season in its last match. The Golden Bears (4-1-2) host USF in the final regular season non-conference match of 2008. The Dons head across the bay with a record of 1-4-1. Cal and USF will meet on Friday, Sept. 26, at 4 p.m. at Edwards Stadium.
Bears Top Drake, Fall to Creighton
Cal finished 1-1 in last weekend's Stanford Nike Classic, as it defeated Drake, 2-0, and lost to then-No. 8 Creighton, 2-0. The Bears, who were ranked third last weekend, got goals from sophomores Hector Jimenez and Servando Carrasco against Drake. Fellow sophomores Davis Paul and Andrew Wiedeman collected assists on the goals.
In the Rankings
Cal dropped a little bit in the national polls after splitting last weekend's matches. In the NSCAA poll, the Bears fell to No. 11. They're still listed in the top 10 of three other polls - No. 6 in Top Drawer Soccer, No. 7 in College Soccer News and No. 8 in the Soccer Times polls. Cal also dropped down to No. 14 in the Soccer America poll.
Among conference leaders, junior goalkeeper Stefan Frei leads the Pac-10 in goals-against average at 0.68 and saves (23). Sophomores Hector Jimenez and Andrew Wiedeman lead the Pac-10 in assists with four.
Cal as a team leads the conference in points (42), assists (16), shutouts (3), and goals-against average (0.67) and tied for first in saves with 24.
Women's tennis hosts invitational:
BERKELEY - The California women's tennis team opens the fall individual tournament season this weekend (Sept. 26-28) by hosting the 2008 Cal Nike Invitational at the Hellman Tennis Complex and Channing Tennis Courts. Play begins at approximately 8 a.m. on each day and will conclude at 8 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. On Sunday, semifinal and final rounds will be played, with matches concluding at approximately 4 p.m.
Three Golden Bears received preseason rankings in the ITA women's division I singles rankings, led by sophomore Marina Cossou who holds the No. 7 ranking among 125 listed players. Seniors No. 22 Claire Ilcinkas and No. 65 Bojana Bobusic also begin the fall ranked. As a pair, Cossou and Ilcinkas hold the No. 24-ranking among doubles teams.
Field hockey hopes to build on momentum against Michigan:
This Week
Riding a four-game winning streak, the No. 20 California field hockey team (5-1, 3-0 NorPac Conference) plays No. 19 Michigan (3-5), No. 10 Michigan State (7-1) and unranked Northwestern (5-4) this week in the Great Lake State. The Golden Bears play at Michigan at 2 p.m. PT on Thursday, Sept. 25, at Michigan State at 10:30 a.m. PT on Saturday, Sept. 27, and against Northwestern at 10 a.m. PT on Sunday, Sept. 28. The Michigan and Northwestern games will take place at the Wolverines' Phyllis Ocker Field in Ann Arbor, Mich., as part of the Michigan/Bear Invitational. Cal will play Michigan State in East Lansing, Mich.Cal's 1-0 win over then-No. 4 Michigan last season in Berkeley gave the Bears their first victory over a top-5 team under head coach Shellie Onstead.
Andrea Lo, a field hockey player, has her own blog. Just like me! And she's super buff and in amazing shape. Nothing at all like me!
BERKELEY - Like our football team, we had a bye week this week, which meant only one thing...no, not vacation...but practice, practice and more practice. Not that I have anything against practice since practice makes perfect of course, but describing the drills and all that fun stuff just isn't that interesting to write about. But that doesn't mean exciting or funny things don't happen during practice, since our team is quite the group of jokesters. Like earlier this week, Ashley decided to tape both of her hands like claws and ran around holding her sticking looking ridiculous, which, I might add, was not the first time she'd shown up to practice with something for us to laugh and shake our heads at.
What else...well, there were two practices where a cute little squirrel decided to run onto the field and chill at the center line and stare entranced at the field hockey balls, which I'm sure it wanted to eat. I love cute animals, so I was equally absorbed staring at the creature for a good 30 seconds...I wonder if that had anything to do with my confusion of the drill we were doing.... Plus we were filming that particular drill for analyzing, so I hope I wasn't caught drifting into oblivion.
After running eighteen 110s (we run the length of our field plus the additional 10 yards 18 times in 19 seconds) my body is yelling at me and my legs are feeling like bricks. I'm a senior, so I'm going to use the "I'm getting old" card.
XC at Stanford this weekend:
This Week
No. 19 California has a big test this week as it heads to Stanford for the 35th annual Stanford Invitational Saturday, Sept. 27, on the Stanford Golf Course. The men's 8K race starts at 10:50 a.m., followed by the women's 6K event at 11:15 a.m. The Golden Bears hope to keep the momentum going after recording back-to-back top-five finishes in its previous two meets.
Last Time Out
The Cal men came in fourth while the women took fifth at the Sacramento State Jamboree on Saturday, Sept. 13, at Granite Regional Park in Sacramento, Calif. The Cal men finished with 83 points and the Cal women finished with 97 points.
Senior Eric Lee paced the Cal men by placing sixth (20:15). Fellow senior Sean Carey also grabbed a top-10 placing, touring the course in 20:32 and finishing in 10th.
In the women's competition, the Golden Bears placed two runners in the top 15. Senior Rebecca Palm placed eighth (17:59), while freshman Taylor Dutch took 15th (18:23).
Okanes on Press Luncheon:
There’s a game this Saturday, so Cal went back to holding its weekly press luncheon today. One of the prevailing themes was how hard the team worked during last week’s bye week.
All the players who came by the luncheon said it was more than your usual bye week, where teams tend to take it easier than they would if there was a game on Saturday. In fact, linebacker Worrell Williams said the team worked harder than it has during some game weeks.
What does that mean? Primarily, the Bears did much more hitting than they normally would during a bye week. They wore pads every day and had at least one session each day where the offense lined up against the defense.
Another article on CSU QB Billy Farris:
FORT COLLINS — Three games into the season, quarterback Billy Farris has decisively answered Colorado State's biggest question coming into the fall.
Despite not starting a football game since high school, the fifth-year senior has more than stepped up to the task. He ranks second, behind BYU star Max Hall, in Mountain West Conference passing yards at 261.3 per game, good for 20th nationally.
"He's doing a tremendous job," Rams offensive coordinator Greg Peterson said.
Farris will be challenged by a three-man front for the first time when the Rams play Saturday at California. It will also be the best defense CSU has faced since the season opener against Colorado.
So, there you go. A rap song with painfully non-hilarious lyrics and some links. If you see anything vaguely Cal-related, bring that bad boy on over. DUMP AWAY! GO BEARS!
The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.
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Article on Rams WR Dion Morton:
Generously listed as 5-foot-10 and 159 pounds, the CSU junior receiver often gets lost in the crowd.
But Billy Farris, CSU’s quarterback, knows where to find him. Saturday, on the second play of the game, Farris lofted a deep pass down the sideline, never seeing his receiver. But, he said later, he knew Morton would be where he was supposed to be.
And he was, hauling the ball in near the Houston 45-yard line and racing untouched to the end zone to complete a 79-yard scoring play that helped the Rams beat the Cougars 28-25.
“I trust him so much, I know where he’s going to be,” Farris said Tuesday after a 2-hour workout on the practice fields south of Moby Arena. "Even if I don’t see him, I know I’m supposed to throw, and I’ll put it there. And that works out because he’s so consistent.
I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
SFGate article on Darian Hagan.
With Cal leading 34-14 at Colorado State last season, Hagan was a late replacement. He got burned for two big passes, including a 66-yard touchdown play. He was pulled and didn’t play any snaps at corner in the final 11 games.
“I’ve got redemption on my mind,” Hagan said.
“For a young guy at that position, that’s a difficult thing to come back from, but he’s starting to realize that he can play with these guys,” Felder said.
About once a week for the rest of last season, Hagan would miss an assignment in practice or feign hustle, and defensive coordinator Bob Gregory would shout, “That’s why you can’t get on the field, Darian.” The consistent refrain from Gregory this season has been, “Darian is playing the best football he has since he’s been here.”
Senior inside linebacker Worrell Williams saw the light come on for Hagan over the summer.
“He called me out of the blue and told me to stay on him,” Williams said. “That was it. He had found that sense of urgency and the awareness to get on top of his stuff.”
SF Examiner article with various morsels of information.
Regardless of the reasons, Cal will need to control the trenches for now on. They were beaten on both sides of the ball which was surprising given the fact that they had played adequate to outstanding in their previous two games. Mike Tepper, the original starter at left tackle is expected to miss time until at least November. For most teams, losing an all-conference left tackle could be a death-blow, but for Cal it’s just a minor adjustment. By the time Tepper is ready to play, there might not be anywhere for him to go with the young talent starting on the line.
On the defensive side of the ball, they’ll be without Freshman defensive lineman, Kendrick Payne. Payne is a very talented big man that the Bears will miss while he recovers from a minor knee scope. He’ll likely be out for the next two games.
Mercury News article written by JO.
“It was a physical bye week,” quarterback Kevin Riley said. “We couldn’t go into a bye week after losing and just take it easy. Everyone’s goal last week was to get better, and I think we did.”
Linebacker Anthony Felder said one of the primary reasons the Bears had a more intense bye week than usual was to improve on their physicality, something he said was missing against Maryland.
“When we got in Tuesday for practice, they changed the schedule around to full pads,” Felder said. “Everyone knew then what was coming up. I don’t think we played as physical as we should have in Maryland. That’s what the emphasis was in the bye week, to make sure we have a physical mentality going into next week.”
ಠ_ಠ
From that Chron article,
About once a week for the rest of last season, Hagan would miss an assignment in practice or feign hustle, and defensive coordinator Bob Gregory would shout, “That’s why you can’t get on the field, Darian.”
Oh snap!
Colorado State article
Steve Fairchild trying not to get too excited about having a winning record after just three games.
This week, the Rams are headed to Berkeley, Calif., for a 4 p.m. game Saturday against California (2-1). And, Fairchild said, CSU will need to play better than it has yet to have a chance against the Bears.
Cal uses a three-man front on defense that CSU hasn’t seen yet this season and has a high-powered offense that averages 43.6 points and 477.7 yards a game, putting the Bears in the top 15 teams nationally in both categories.
So, Fairchild said, there’s plenty of work to do to get his team ready for this game.
“I was glad to see our football team play the way it did Saturday and get rewarded. That was nice,” Fairchild said. “We certainly enjoyed it. And then you come back to work, and you throw on some (video) of Cal, and you realize how good they are, and that’s where we want to be – a team like that. We’ve got to keep working to get there.”
So, basically, you gotta Go Bears!
y'know
I wonder if Colorado State Rams could beat the St. Louis Rams. (Rhetorical question, so spare me the comments about how the NFL team would blow any college team out of the water.)
I'm still wondering why the Nets didn't draft Leon Powe.
So that’s why USC is so good. They’re basically a pro team at this point right?
It’s times like this I wish they’d never discovered CougCenterium.
False. You don’t lose to Stanford and be considered a pro team.
by BearsNecessity on Sep 24, 2008 2:22 PM PDT up reply actions
ouch!
Well, perhaps U$C is a pro team in the sense that their athletes are getting paid to play?
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
I kind of thought that was the joke to start with…
by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 24, 2008 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions
What’s the opposite of physicality? Spirituality? When football players aren’t working on their physicality, do you think they work on their spirituality? Is Alex Mack an All-American meditator, Jahvid Best a lightning fast transcendentalist with nature in the tradition of Thoreau?
Also, I didn’t realize this, but apparently rivals ranks college football players weekly. Jahvid is #7 running back , Cameron Morrah is #20 TE, Alex Mack is #4 OL (and #1 center), Zach Follett is #10 linebacker, and Tedford is #16 coach.
Mentally. They could tackle each other in their minds.
Then again, I heard Kevin Riley can throw a wicked fade once he opens his heart chakra.
by CalBandGreat on Sep 24, 2008 10:25 AM PDT up reply actions
Texas Tech coach Mike Leach’s advice on dating still cracks me up. Heard before quickly turning off Rome this morning.
holy fuck that was hilarious…“there’s very little salad, so she will be forced to eat, which women hate to do…” ahahahaha
by Spazzy Mcgee on Sep 24, 2008 8:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Mike Leach may now be my second favorite college football coach
Since Greg Schiano was apparently just following in Herm Edwards’ footsteps, running Ray Rice into the ground before he left for the sweet rapture of actually get paid to get run into the ground.
I'm still wondering why the Nets didn't draft Leon Powe.
by yellow fever on Sep 25, 2008 4:43 AM PDT up reply actions
I’m not white. I’m Jewish!
I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I could not have forseen that.
I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
It’s only so our country can be free.
by BearsNecessity on Sep 24, 2008 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions
I think I like you. I like you very much.
by BearsNecessity on Sep 24, 2008 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions
Azamat Bogatov, his producer.
Go Bears!
by RollOnYouBears667 on Sep 24, 2008 6:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Check this out:
This is how it’s done.
Go Bears!
by RollOnYouBears667 on Sep 24, 2008 11:19 PM PDT reply actions
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Golden Bears Football Schedule
| Fresno St. | Sat 09/03 | W 36 - 21 |
@
Colorado
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Sat 09/10 | W 36 - 33 |
| Presbyterian | Sat 09/17 | W 63 - 12 |
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@
Washington
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Sat 09/24 | L 23 - 31 |
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@
Oregon
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Thu 10/06 | L 15 - 43 |
|
USC
|
Thu 10/13 | L 9 - 30 |
|
Utah
|
Sat 10/22 | W 34 - 10 |
|
@
UCLA
|
Sat 10/29 | L 14 - 31 |
|
Washington St.
|
Sat 11/05 | W 30 - 7 |
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Oregon St.
|
Sat 11/12 | W 23 - 6 |
|
@
Stanford
|
Sat 11/19 | L 28 - 31 |
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@
Arizona St.
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Fri 11/25 | W 47 - 38 |
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@
Texas
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Wed 12/28 | L 10 - 21 |
