I've officially run out of material. Down to the bottom of the barrell. All I have is a series of dead baby and Heath Ledger jokes, each one more disturbingly disturbing than the last.
Wait wait wait, Ok, I just wrote a joke. Ok, I think this one should be good.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!!!!!
ok, let's keep this party going with another TwistNHook classic. I just wrote this bad boy. Fresh off the presses:
Why is 10 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!!!!!!!!!!
Whew, that was close there. I had run out of jokes, but I'm happy I'm able to write solid comedy so quickly. And so hilariously!
That should be enough comedy for today. I don't want to overload you guys with hilarity. Let's get to some links:
Cal men's soccer predicted to be in the Top 15:
The California men's soccer team was selected 13th in the College Soccer News' preseason national rankings. The Golden Bears, who look for a third consecutive Pac-10 Championship this year, were the highest Pac-10 team in the poll, just ahead of No. 14 UCLA.
Cal will square off against three teams in 2008 that were ranked in the top 10 of the poll - No. 3 Maryland, No. 5 Santa Clara and No. 7 Creighton. The Bears will also play No. 12 SMU this season. Reigning NCAA champion Wake Forest was picked No. 1 in the poll, followed by Connecticut at No. 2.
Here's a video of some Cal Olympians in Beijing.
Some national pub for our backers:
Berkeley - Senior linebackers Zack Follett and Worrell Williams of the California football team were both selected to the annual Butkus Award Watch List announced on Wednesday. A total off 66 linebackers from across the nation were tabbed on the list, including nine from the Pac-10.
A hard-hitting product of Fresno, Follett has been Cal's sack-leader in each of the last two years, to go along with eight career forced fumbles. He is also on this year's preseason Watch Lists for the Ronnie Lott IMPACT Trophy (defensive player who excels on and off the field), the Bronco Nagurski Trophy (nation's top defensive player) and the Chuck Bednarik Award (also for top defensive player). Last season, Follett earned All-Pac-10 Second Team honors after totaling 64 tackles with a team-best 12.5 tackles for loss and 5.5 sacks despite missing the second half of the Louisiana Tech game and all of the Arizona and Oregon games due to injury. Follett also earned conference honors his sophomore campaign and freshman All-America honors in 2005.
A three-year starter and pre-season All-America selection by Phil Steele's magazine, Williams led the Bears in forced fumbles (3) while ranking second with 105 tackles (eighth in the Pac-10) and 8.5 tackles for loss (second on the team) in 2007. The 250-pound native of Sacramento played in all 13 games with 11 starts last season, including a memorable game in the opener against Tennessee where he registered nine tackles in the victory, while recovering a fumble on the opening drive and returning it 44 yards for his first career touchdown.
Some very encouraging notes on Fall Camp by Okanes:
–Wide receiver Marvin Jones could be a star. He already is playing so confidently for a true freshman. He has the size (6-3, 185) and athleticism to become a nightmare matchup for opposing defensive backs.
–Wide receiver Nyan Boateng looks like he means business. During the spring, Boateng didn’t demonstrate the best practice habits. He appears to have shaped up his act in that department. Combine that with his natural ability, and he could be a serious weapon.
–Tight end Cameron Morrah appears ready to break out. Maybe he heard all the talk about Tad Smith during the spring. Morrah has been the quarterbacks’ favorite target during camp, and you could make the argument he’s the team MVP during camp so far.
Feldman says Mack is indispensible:
Alex Mack, Cal, C: Whoever Jeff Tedford names as his starting QB will lean heavily on Mack, the best O-lineman in the Pac-10 and maybe the country too. The Golden Bears only surrendered 11 sacks in 2007 and without Mack, a great technician that has, according to his coaches, freakish flexibility and athleticism, that number probably doubles.
Longshore also is fighting for his future. A year ago, he was regarded as one of the top junior quarterbacks in the country. Now his NFL prospects are uncertain.
"Football is like life; there are good times and bad times," he said. "At this point, I'm completely over last year, and over all the nonsense that came with it. I've realized that's behind me. "
That's a solid start. If you see any links relating to Cal sports, bring those bad guys over here, so we can discuss them. Dump away! Go Bears!