"Wait, what? The Alameda County Court website is working slightly slower than usual? Ok, everybody click on it right now, this could mean something! But, I'm going to lay here a little longer. I'm tired."
Oh, the week that was. Honestly, this week has been so crazy I can't remember a time before it began. I have heard of a before before time when, in the hazy mist of the past, we discussed our thoughts on UCLA. But I can't get verification on that.
On Saturday, CBKWit and I went deep undercover into the heart of darkness. I ended up doing Dane Cook shtick and I felt so dirty afterwards. But the dirt just isn't coming off! We met our dear friend with the long bo, Martial Art Mask Maker. He's like Donatello, but he probably doesn't have Half-Shell Turtle Power. Lord knows I do!
Then, nothing happened on Sunday. LAME! I hate Sunday SO much right now!
On Monday, Ryan Anderson broke all of our hearts by following about his rational self-interest. Why must you live your dream, Ryan? What about my dreams, Ryan? What about them?
On Tuesday (aka XMas Eve), the "Storm Troops" "raided" the "sacred" "grove." We were first introduced to our love-interest, Dumpster Muffin. Our man was on the scene, describing in extreme detail just how dreamy Ms. Muffin truly is. Uh, maybe that detail was a bit too extreme. She has been living in a tree for the last unknown amount of time, afterall.
Then, Wednesday. It was like the JFK assassination and moon landing all wrapped up into one day. Except not fake. You'll be able to tell your grandkids years from now where you were when you first heard the media irresponsibly reporting on the Judge's ruling. "Yes, sonny boy, I remember that each network was worse than the last. I just broke my hip!"
It got sort of wack-tastic that day. And that twenty minute time span when all looked lost, that was the sort of shared experience that never goes away. It'll haunt us to the end of our days. We all asked ourselves, "Could GreyBear really have been so wrong? Could everything we'd heard really been so off?"
The answer, thankfully, was no. OakTownMario and Danzig led us through an in depth legal analysis of the 128 page ruling. If only Buzz Bissinger were still alive today to read it. "A blog?", he might say, "Producing in depth legal analysis? But the Chronicle inserted the word "sacred" into a supposedly objective caption!??! That's the newspaper way! That's the way it should be""
Then, on Thursday, we were back through the rabbit hole. Ayr gave a press conference. As compared to Air, which continues to tour France, supplying those cheese-eating surrender monkeys with sweet, sweet jazz music.
It was the week that gave us Dumpster Muffin. It was the week that gave us "Save The Oaks: Overthrow Capitalism." It was the week that gave us "Carolyn Jones," not to be confused with Carolyn Jones.
Finally, a hearty thank you to the Judge for releasing the Order at 6 PM on Wednesday, ensuring that hundreds and hundreds of people checked the site repeatedly all hour, every hour, well into the evening. Our advertisers thank you greatly! Except for NewsMax. They would never thank a bunch of crazy Berkeley hippies, like us!
Oh and can't forget Brent Musburger. I know I never will. GO BEARS!