Like most Americans born after say 1977, I lack basic emotions. Aesthetics designed to tug at our heartstrings or incite a feeling of excitement usually only elicit mockery. Cynical, yes? But the unfortunate truth. Irony is the currency of my generation.
So, when we run across something so saccharinely non-self aware, we, well, we just don't know how to deal with it. Enter: Cheer SF. Before the Cal Band halftime show, they took the field to entertain the 25 or so people there with moves we've only encountered in poorly thought out romantic comedies like Bring It On and Bring It On 2: Leprechaun In The Hood.
On a purely objective level, it was perfectly fine. Great execution, delightful maneuvers. The ridiculously sublime that was sublimely ridiculous. But for these confused onlookers, we could only express ourselves in the only way we know how: with Simpsons quotes. Essentially, referencing Marge's complete and total lack of self-awareness as an example of a potential spectator who might genuinely enjoy the crisp moves of CheerSF:
Marge: [looking at the walls] An alligator with sunglasses? Hah! Now
I've seen everything.
Marge: Street signs? Indoors? Ha ha, whatever!
But hey, maybe we were were too harsh. Maybe we shouldn't have lumped CheerSF in the same group of people like "Those Who Find Two And A Half Men Funny" or "Those Who Enjoy Dane Cook In Any Form." Were we too harsh? Judge for yourself with this snippet:
"We actually built our city with political corruption and undocumented labor"
So, that was that. Go CheerSF. Don't let shmuckzoids like us tell you to stop entertaining people. Live the dream.
While CheerSF was wowing us all, the Cal Band was prepping for, well......something.
Finally, it was time to move. They were doing the Disney show. The band started off with a unique entrance to the first song.
I PRESENT OSKI:
This show was another one with a complex plotline and recurring characters. Recurring characters with an emotional depth and strong background. For example, here is one Oski The Bear exploring his relationship with The Axe.
He, apparently, cares deeply for this potentially inanimate object.
"It's MINE!" Oski would say were he not a Bear, fluent solely in Klingon as all Bears are.
Certainly, Oski loved that The Axe greatly. Who wouldn't? So, when Oski sat down to eat food with an evil sea queen and a giant cake with The Tree inside, I had a BAAAAAAAAD idea. Listen for yourself. I even tried to warn him about his impending doom. But did Oski listen to me? No. Does he have ears? Probably not. But that's no excuse. And I did such a great job of warning him, too.
PS I got the line "I could not have forseen that" from the Red Balloon II: The Dead Balloon. Thanks, The Critic!
So, after doing their odd warmup calisthenics, the battle was joined:
It's a good thing, Frankie Garland The Nazi Drum Major decided to stretch out before the battle. Tedford forbid he pulls a hammy during the intense fight sequence. Then, who would catch the baton before the Emerald Bowl?????
And with that, the last Memorial Stadium-based halftime show of the year. A great season, to be honest. Tons of great shows. Credit to the entire band.
"Ahh! I just pulled something"
"WE HAVE THE AXE! WE HAVE THE AXE!"
And then, the team returned to the field for the last half of home Cal football this year. So sad! We wait nine months and then there it goes by so fast:
And soon that last half of football was underway:
Best wasted little time getting back to work. But those stupid hands:
Will T. tried to teach us how to pronounce his last name. Not sure how successful he was.
Honestly, not a lot of second half game action photos. We were up big. And the Party Yatch was in pretty quickly.
So, we spent most of the second half in party mode. Trying to drink in every last moment of the Memorial Stadium experience. There ain't nothing like it out there. I'd put the Memorial stadium experience up against any of them.
I mean how many of their fans "reimagine" classics scenes from the epic pinnacle of hilariously ironic movies, Point Break.
"Hey, Utah, make it two!"
Very few UW fans stayed till the end, but this hardy soul stuck around:
Much respect for him.
We might not have rushed the field, but team kinda sauntered the field:
"WE SHOCKED THE WORLD"
Soon, there were more seagulls than fans.
Nothing wrong with this:
The Campanile was looking lovely as always:
We managed to catch the band playing in front of Bowles, a rare occurance for me.
The Bowlesmen were hyped up after the win:
So, there we go. The last football photo essay of the year. You've put up with inane rose photos, odd halftime videos, and at least 14,000 amazing photos by TrisWeb and TheNick. Plus, some by me. We all had a great home season with the type of electric atmosphere that you come to associate with Memorial. Now, the fans still outnumber the seagulls until the way end. Not like during the Holmoe days when that ratio would flip about after halftime.
I'll leave you with the only reasonable way to end a series that started with rose photos: more sunset shots. Because if there's one thing that's amazing about Cal football, it's that we get to leave the stadium and see things like this: