I just can't think of anything funny about this week.  Beavers?  Hmmmm.  Well, they have big buck teeth.  That's kinda funny.  But it's also part of potentially racist imagery.  So, I'm not sure we want to be potentially racist.  Completely racist, yes, but just potentially racist?  No.  I never half-ass anything, especially when it comes to racism.  I take my racism VERY seriously.  Especially my anti-semitism.

So, ya, man, I'm stumped.  Can anybody think of any funny jokes relating to Beavers?  Ok, maybe about how Dam is only 1 letter away from a swear word.  I won't type it here, of course, because this is a family site (well at least until Carp rolls along with his Girls Of The Pac10 calendar)

So, if you can think of any funny jokes and slash or innuendo relating to the Oregon State Beavers, let's hear them!

Women's' tennis player Juricova wins a title:

TEMPE, Ariz. - California women's tennis freshman Jana Juricova became the fourth consecutive Golden Bear to win the ASU Thunderbird Invitational with her 6-2, 6-1, victory over Sona Novakova of Armstrong Atlantic today at the Whiteman Tennis Complex in Tempe, Ariz. Hosted by Arizona State University, the four-day tournament also produced a consolation finals champion as Cal freshman Stephany Chang defeated Samantha Mouly of San Diego, 6-4, 7-5. With the conclusion of the Thunderbird, the Bears complete fall competition and look to Jan. 16-18 when they host the Cal Winter Invitational at Hellman Tennis Complex as a precursor to the dual season.

Victorious in her 17th match of the individual tournament season, Juricova didn't drop a single set on her way to the second singles crown of her young career (St. Mary's Invitational). She follows sophomore Marina Cossou (2007), senior Marion Ravelojaona (2006), and Jessica Shu (2005) in a long line of Bears to have swept through the desert tourney. Juricova finishes the fall with a 17-2 overall singles record.

Mens soccer beats UDub:

BERKELEY - After falling behind Washington early in Sunday afternoon's contest at Edwards Stadium, the No. 11 California men's soccer team scored two unanswered goals to beat the Huskies, 2-1, and earn its second win of the weekend. Senior Pat Marion knocked in the game-winning goal in the 88th minute to break the 1-1 tie and seal the victory for the Golden Bears (9-3-5, 4-2-3).

 

Sophomore Andrew Wiedeman tallied Cal's first goal in the 35th minute, with an assist from sophomore Demitrius Omphroy. Wiedeman took a pass from Omphroy down the length of the field and beat the Washington keeper to his right to tie the game at one. Wiedeman, the team's leading scorer, now has eight goals on the season and 20 points total.

 

The Huskies (8-7-2, 3-4-2) got on the board first with a score in the 26th minute. Dylan Tucker-Gangnes collected a rebound and was able to get one past Cal keeper Stefan Frei since he was out of position from making the previous save.

 

The Cal defense shut down Washington after that score, as it only allowed the Huskies four shots for the entire contest. The Bears earned a total of 14 shots in the game. Omphroy and senior Chris Deal each recorded three shots, two of which were on goal.

 

Cal returns to Edwards Stadium next weekend for the final game of the regular season. The Bears will host Stanford on Saturday, Nov. 15, at Edwards Stadium. Saturday's contest will also be Senior Day for Cal's five seniors - Marion, Deal, Tyler Barry, Ian Ebert and Michael Nieraeth.

Womens bball beats Vanguard.  What the hell is Vanguard???  They won by 50 points!

BERKELEY - The California women's basketball team cruised to a 87-37 victory over the Vanguard Lions in the final exhibition game of the 2008-09 season. Alexis Gray-Lawson scored a game-high 21 points.

"I thought it was a good game for us," Cal head coach Joanne Boyle said. "We needed to come back strong off Chico State. Even though we beat Chico State, it was very, very sloppy. So we really focused on our defense and our transition in this game."

The Vanguard Lions, the NAIA I reigning national champions, began the game strong, going up by two points, 8-6, in the first four minutes of the game. The Bears erased the deficit, scoring eight straight points and mounting a 26-2 run over the next eight minutes to get the game well in their control. Senior forward/center Ashley Walker scored 11 of those 26 points with junior guard Alexis Gray-Lawson adding ten of her own.

Gray-Lawson ended the game with a game-high 21 points in just 21 minutes on the court. Walker posted 20 points, hitting nine of her first 10 field-goal attempts. Walker ended the game shooting 81.8 percent from the field. The Bears overall shot 50.0 percent (27-54) in the game.

Womens vball beats ASU:

TEMPE, Ariz. - The No. 6-ranked California volleyball team (20-4, 10-3 Pac-10) got its 20th win of the season today with a 3-1 victory (26-24, 26-28, 25-17, 25-21) over Arizona State (12-13, 3-9 Pac-10). The Golden Bears reach the 20-win mark for the eighth time in school history (five under head coach Rich Feller) and have strung together three consecutive 20-win seasons for the first time since 1981-83 when Cal was under the direction of Chris Stanley. The Bears were led by junior outside hitter Hana Cutura's team-high 21 kills (6e, 45att, .333) as she moved into seventh all-time at Cal in kills (1,243) and 10th in total attacks (2,892).

The Bears had 75 kills against the Sun Devils (one shy of their season high) on 155 attacks (21e, .348) and held Arizona State to 57 kills (18e, 148att, .264). Cutura also matched a career-high by serving up four service aces against the Sun Devils; and added seven digs and four blocks (one solo) to her final stat line. Senior outside hitter Am'ra Solomon nearly matched her career-high in kills with 19 (5e, 35att, .400) as she continued to play well at the net, adding two blocks (one solo). Freshman Tarah Murrey recorded 11 kills (5e, 23att, .261) while the middle hitters each contributed eight kills apiece. Freshman middle Shannon Hawari got hers on 14 attacks (1e, .400) while junior Mindi Wiley attacked 23 times (4e, .174) and added four blocks. Sophomore setter Carli Lloyd matched her season-high in assists with 59 and logged her eighth double-double of the season by putting up a season-high 15 digs, one shy of her career mark. Junior libero Kristen Kathan led all players in digs with 20. Arizona State sophomore outside hitter Sarah Reaves led all players with 26 kills (3e, 51att, .451) and added 13 digs.

 

Field hockey loses to Stanford:

FARMVILLE, Va. - Sixteenth-ranked and top-seeded California lost to second-seeded Stanford, 2-1, on a deflected shot in the second overtime of the NorPac Tournament final on Saturday afternoon at Longwood University. The Golden Bears had been outshooting the Cardinal, 29-8, including a 9-0 shot advantage in overtime, before the winning goal on Stanford's only overtime shot at 93:41. Camille Gandhi scored the gamewinner for Stanford, which advances to play at Princeton in a Nov. 11 NCAA Play-In to the NCAA Tournament. Cal, with its senior-laden team, is not expected to gain one of the eight at-large berths to the 16-team NCAA Tournament and has likely ended its season with a 13-5 record. Stanford, which has beaten Cal two straight years in the conference tournament final, still has a losing record at 9-10.

"I'm really in shock right now, other than us missing two strokes and Stanford making their one," Cal head coach Shellie Onstead said. "The dominance was unbelievable. How do you get 29 opportunities and not get more goals? It could've been 8-, 9-1."

Cal outshot Stanford 29-9 for the game, with senior midfielder/forward Ashley Glosz accounting for 10 of those shots.

"Ashley played awesome," Onstead said. "The kids did everything we asked them to. They executed the game plan. They executed the press perfectly. Even in overtime, we dominated that too. Ashley got thrown off at the end of regulation with a yellow card, but we killed the penalty and got her back on. We had three corners and a stroke in overtime. The stars didn't line up today. Ten seniors - what a way to go."

Mens water polo loses to USC:

The No.4 ranked Cal Golden Bears fell to the top-ranked USC men's water polo team, 11-9, on Saturday afternoon at McDonald's Swim Stadium. USC now owns a 33-game home winning streak. Matt Sagehorn and Kyle Sterling led the Trojans in scoring on the day, punching in three goals apiece to extend their record to a perfect 7-0 in MPSF play. Cal led by junior All-American Spencer Warden and senior captain Frank Reynolds, moves to 14-6, 1-3 with the loss.

In a game of surges, the Trojans won out thanks to powerful first and third periods of play. USC swamped the Bears in the opening frame. Goalie Joel Dennerley turned away Cal's first three attacks on goal, while the Trojans blasted scores from Jovan Vranes and Matt Sagehorn on 6-on-5 strikes to take a 2-0 lead. Cal would get one to go next, only to see Kyle Sterling knock in a pass from Nico Sardo on another USC power play. Another Dennerley stop was followed by Sagehorn's second of the quarter, as the junior laced in a slider with six seconds remaining to take USC ahead 4-1.

Cal cut into things to open the second, however. The Bears managed three goals in a minute's span to lock the game up 4-4. After a takeaway from Shea Buckner, Peter Kurzeka slammed home a skipper before the shot clock to put USC back on top 5-4. Cal would equalize again on a 6-on-5 score from Trent Calder at 2:56, only to see the Trojans work back out ahead. J.W. Krumpholz generated a power move at set for the go-ahead score, and Sagehorn added to the Trojan advantage with a crosscage blast for a 7-5 USC lead going into halftime.

Womens vball loses to Arizona:

TUCSON, Ariz. - The No. 6-ranked California volleyball team (19-4, 9-3 Pac-10) fell in a five-set loss (25-22, 25-23, 18-25, 23-25, 15-11) to an unranked Arizona team (14-9, 4-7 Pac-10) today at McKale Center in Tucson, Ariz. to lose two-straight matches for just the first time this season. Despite senior outside hitter Am'ra Solomon's career-high 20 kills (4e, 41att, .390), the Golden Bears were denied their 20th victory of the season by a Wildcat attack that had 62 kills on 160 attacks (26e, .225).

The Bears attacked at a .268 rate, getting 69 kills on 164 attempts with 25 errors and out-blocked the Wildcats, 13.0-12.5, but were unable to get out of their own way as they recorded a season-high 17 service errors. Junior outside hitter Hana Cutura led all players with 23 kills (3e, 54att, .370) and enjoyed her eighth double-double of the season by adding 10 digs. Freshman outside hitter Tarah Murrey had an efficient night, getting 14 kills on 28 attacks (6e, .286) and added five digs of her own. Junior libero Kristen Kathan had a match-high 22 digs and registered one of the Bears' six service aces. Sophomore setter Carli Lloyd had four kills on eight attacks without an error and led all players with 57 assists, adding nine digs. Arizona sophomore outside hitter Tiffany Owens had many crucial kills as she led her team with 17 (4e, 51att, .255), also leading the Cats in digs with 19. Owens' fellow second-year outside Whitney Dosty was right behind her with 15 kills (6e, 35att, .257).

The Bears were unable to overcome an Arizona attack that claimed four kills over the last five points to win the fifth set 15-11. Cal got out to a 4-1 lead but surrendered a tie at seven all when junior middle hitter Mindi Wiley had her attack blocked by the Wildcat middles. A kill by Arizona senior opposite Randy Goodenough gave the Cats their first lead of the set at 8-7. The home team never trailed again, eventually notching set-point as a Cal block went out of bounds at 14-9. The Cats completed the set by sending a shot off the Cal block again, ending the Bears' hopes for a two-set comeback win. The Bears had seven kills (3e, 26att, .154) in the fifth while the Cats put up 12 kills (4e, 27att, .296).

Womens soccer team loses to Stanford:

BERKELEY - The California women's soccer team lost its regular-season finale, 3-0, to visiting No. 3 Stanford on Sunday afternoon in front of 1,463 fans at Edwards Stadium. The Golden Bears fall to 10-8-1 overall and 3-5-1 in the competitive Pac-10 Conference, while Stanford improves to 18-1-1 and 8-1 in the Pac-10. The team recognized Cal's six seniors - Rosie Aguilera, Katherine Daiss, Torrey Delaplane, Valerie Barnes and Nikki Schrey - prior to kickoff.

"In the first half, we were much better at possessions, which is something we've struggled with all season long," Cal head coach Neil McGuire said. "But in the second half, our ability to possess deserted us, and as a result, Stanford had the ball the entire time."

Cal forced the Cardinal goalkeeper Kira Maker to make three stops in the first half with two shots from sophomore forward Alex Morgan and one from freshman midfielder Katrin Omarsdottir. Redshirt junior keeper Rosie Aguilera saved three Stanford attempts in the first 45 minutes.

After the teams entered the locker rooms with no score, Stanford game out firing in the first 15 minutes of the second half. Kelley O'Hara scored the game's first goal at 51:15 with a shot from 18 yards out to the lower right corner. Christen Press distanced the Cardinal in the 59th minute from a goal off a shot to the right post.

CoCo Times article on Riley's ineffectiveness relieving Longshore:

LOS ANGELES — Kevin Riley would love another shot at USC.

Cal's quarterback, coming off a concussion that knocked him out of last week's game against Oregon, relieved starter Nate Longshore to begin the second half Saturday night and was just 4-for-16 for 59 yards and an interception. He was also sacked three times and rushed into a handful of other poor passes.

"We definitely had our chances today," Riley said. "I'd love to play those guys again, that's for sure."

Riley consistently missed open receivers, partly because of the Trojans' pressure and partly because of ineffective play. He threw an apparent 27-yard touchdown pass to running back Shane Vereen that was called back because of an ineligible receiver down field. He also threw an untimely interception with the Bears at the USC 10-yard line.

"Twice I felt like I had to step up in the pocket because I felt like there was somebody behind me and rushed the throw," Riley said. "I never do that. They were bringing pressure. I tried to step up and move around in the pocket. They were able to make plays."

Longshore was efficient but not spectacular in the first half, completing 11 of 15 passes for 79 yards. But coach Jeff Tedford said he wanted Riley's mobility in the second half.

Click on that link to see what Worrell Williams says about USC.

Okanes has some post-game notes:

The prevailing theme coming out of postgame is that the Bears felt like they had some missed opportunities. Clearly, penalties hurt them, but there were even more untimely penalties for the Trojans. But Cal’s biggest shortcoming was the inability to connect in the passing game. After it became apparent there was just no way the Bears were going to be able to run the ball against USC (which most Trojans opponents have figured out this season), the Bears turned to their passing game. And they actually had open receivers. But both quarterbacks, and mainly Kevin Riley in the second half, simply were off the mark.

Ok.  Rough game against USC.  But lets all relax and try to focus on OSU.  Dump away.  GO BEARS!