You thought you could stop us, didn't you, Zeus? Sitting up there in your little cloud, with your woefully inadequate lightening bolt. Trying to rain on our parade (i.e. tailgate). You cannot stop us. You will never stop us.
Nothing can stop the insatiable need to stand in a parking lot at 9 AM and drink. NOTHING. Sure, maybe there are a few Oregon fans who couldn't handle the situation.
But it ain't our fault, you live in perpetually sunny Eugene. Here are a few tips to help keep that BBQ going and the liquid flowing, no matter what Zeus might throw your way.
First, of course, drinkability. Drinkability is the most important aspect to any beer. Or so commercials tell me. When its coming down hard, you don't have time to be fumbling with pathetically non-drinkable beers. That's why you go with these bad boys:
Now, you might be saying "Isn't that the lowest level of alcoholic hell? Isn't that water with alcohol on the side?"
And maybe, I don't know, I don't drink, but it would seem to me that if the rain is enough to change up Tedford's offensive game plan, it would be enough to change up your drinking game plan. Focus on the drinkability people. It's the difference!
Also, part of drinkability, is team drinking. Often times, if you aren't going to go with an eminently drinkable beer, you might find yourself challenged by the actual drinking aspect. Getting the liquid from the container to your liver can be more difficult than you might think. So, work with a team to ensure maximum alcoholic consumption.
Team drinking sounds hard if you are working with a bottle or can. Enter: The Sack Of Alcohol!
That is some solid drinkability right there! All Hail Sack!
Finally, what is important is the outfit. If the weather is going to be adverse, you need to bring the right gear. You need to focus on the drinking, not staying warm. Here's the wrong gear:
You wear that, you might find it difficult to focus on the alcoholic consumption. Here is the way to go:
That will help you stay focused on getting the contents of that Solo cup into your liver. And you'll look like you are a member of the football team, too!
With tips like this, you can keep the tailgate going in all kind of conditions.
And believe me, it's worth it. Nothing is better than waking up to some roast duck in the morning:
Because you know you're gonna be having some roast duck in the afternoon!
Hiyo!
Nailed It!
He shoots, he scores!
Or something. The point is you gotta keep the Cal spirit up no matter what:
Tedford said its our solemn duty! Even the Headless Horseman (who is a Cal fan!) knows that.
With our stomachs full and our socks waterlogged, we headed up to the game. I noticed something odd on the way up:
Did somebody play a prank on Pappy? Is Pappy a superhero now?
Up close, it says "So That Pappy Can Focus On The Game." Anybody know anything about this?
Are you happy, Pappy? Because you can stuff those sorries in a sack, mister.
Hey, what year is this?
On the way into the stadium, we chatted with some interesting Oregon fans:
Including this guy, who was dressed like Mr. T (and whose dad apparently was a hall of fame running back for Oregon or the Redskins or somebody):
It's unclear to me how many fools he had pitied up to that point. Or whether he was, in fact, the fool to be pitied. But I'm reasonably sure it was JShufelt. Or JTLight. Or JFWells. Or JTakimoto.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE OREGON FAN'S FIRST NAME START WITH THE LETTER J? Moreover, I'd like to know how many fools JShufelt pities on a daily basis. It seems time consuming to me, but I am interested in getting into the fool pitying business. It is a rough economic time these days, but fool pitying is recession proof. And, honestly, there are a LOT more fools to pity these days. I mean a LOT!
I got into the stadium just as our bumblebees were about to flit back out to the lockerroom.
So, I got in position and made my move:
Mack Attack:
Vereen looks 35 here. Or maybe I should say he looks....34. Hahaha, Im so witty:
This one came out a bit blurry, but while the team walks in, the band does this sort of rhythmic beat and jumps up and down. Some of the players dance along:
This one came out blurry, because I was high fiving Bernard while taking it:
I high fived a few players, including Guyton. That guy is HUGE!
So, there you go. A little pre-game magic(k). I didn't get as many photos during the game, because of the pouring rain. But we'll have some up very soon. Feel free to post your own photos! GO BEARS!