FanPost

Fashion Police--What is Up With Cal's Uniforms?

s much as we love Cal football and enjoy it, we must as always gripe gripe gripe (and don't worry, you haven't seen the last of drunken Cal fan!). I do have a complaint to register, and it has nothing do with football. It has to do with fashion.

Masculinity dropping...dropping...

Once upon a time, the Buffalo Bills had the most beautiful color scheme in all of football. Red, white and blue. I have no idea why the hell they decided to mess with this scheme, but five years ago they moved from these beauties...

Thurman_medium

via daveandadamsstore.com

To these monstrosities.

Trent-edwards_medium

via www.emqb.com

If this wasn't a subtle gesture that the Bills are being moved to Canada with these dry maple leaf postmodern themes present here, I don't know what is.

Well, the Cal Golden Bears are headed this way, for better or for worse. It started in 2006 when we debuted those garish gold uniforms for primetime games, as if somehow we mysteriously played better wearing gold. It had nothing to do with the players on the field stepping up for these big night games, it was clearly the jerseys that pushed us over the edge!

Then we started sporting new jerseys this year that looked so close to the Michigan schemes, you'd swear we debuted them only to confuse the Spartans as to who they were playing. Nothing wrong with them from a seminal standpoint, but it just seemed like a marketing thing, to sell as many variations of our jerseys as possible. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with the old duds, why ruin a good thing?

2905352058_8e5bd2a622_medium

via farm4.static.flickr.com

One may ask, "WHY SO MANY DAMNED JERSEYS ARRRGH THIS IS ANNOYING." One word: Teen douchnozzles.

Teen douchenozzles, happy to hop on the Tedford bandwagon and sport all things Cal who are the real culprits. They will desperately hit on girls at their high school party sporting their Pain Train jerseys, being like "OH F LOOK AT ME." This will leave said girl to reflect "Wow, I'm never going to Cal" and deprive nerdy undergrads of one less female. Then they'll end up at Sac State and further poison our reputation by their Painful Train antics. Thanks a lot, teen douchenozzle.

Oregon-hippies_medium

via i26.photobucket.com

This is not a teen douchenozzle.

I guess the question is whether you like the bells and whistles as a sideshow to the game. Although I despise SC for many things, I have to appreciate the fact that they play in pretty much two uniforms and keep things simple without all the bells and whistles of alternate uniforms. Of course this is the same reason I want to take a sledgehammer to the SC band for playing their fight song on every single play. They are steeped in tradition, not bothered by trivialities like time or circumstance.

But perhaps as Golden Bear fans, we should be prepared to hold ourselves to a new vision of prosperity, where gold and blue uniforms can stand on equal footing with blue and white and gold and white. Where we can always find new and equally shocking ways to surprise our fanbase in our dress attire. Where we can embrace change and realize that this evolution of jerseys is only naturally thematic to the evolution of man. Perhaps this is the allegory Tedford is trying to spread for us.

Oregon-helmet-live_medium

via www.bevosports.com

 

Or perhaps he's just embracing us for the day when we're wearing these helmets.

After the jump, decide which uniforms you like the least!

Jersey A: Gold jerseys, blue pants.

2816689932_b0e2f9185a_medium

via farm4.static.flickr.com

Jersey B: White jerseys and pants.

2837247837_0da7c07856_medium

via farm4.static.flickr.com

Jersey C: White jerseys and gold pants

Sp-california_ma_0499133509_medium_medium

via assets.sbnation.com

Jersey D: Blue jerseys and pants.2904514659_d1d933e654_medium

via farm4.static.flickr.com

Jersey E: Blue jerseys and white pants.

2917192841_d7d2f46394_medium

via farm4.static.flickr.com

Rank the five jersey schemes you've seen so far from favorite to least favorite.

Note: Actually, I guess it's seven, we're probably going back to traditional white and blue for Arizona and we'll see blue and gold sometime this year--you can guess what they'll look like from the photos above. Rank them if you think it's fitting.

 

 

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join California Golden Blogs

You must be a member of California Golden Blogs to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at California Golden Blogs. You should read them.

Join California Golden Blogs

You must be a member of California Golden Blogs to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at California Golden Blogs. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker