Fantasy Week in Review - Week 5
My only contribution lately (aside from this slightly premature piece - I'm sure everyone's feeling good about Brian De La Puente's replacement and our red zone offense) has been whining about my fantasy team. The 95% of you who don't read the comments on our fantasy threads (read: everyone except Hydro, Yellow Fever, Avi & me), consider yourselves lucky. I know they're annoying to read; I annoy myself writing them, but each ball busting loss leaves me grasping for a release, and RemorsefulBruinBabe just can't appreciate the anguish behind statements like "Sam Bradford had 6 touchdowns and I still lost". I need you, fellow fantasy football sociopaths, to relate to my misery and feel my pain.
That said, I don't want to become a whiny, one issue blogger like Yellow Fever (I HEART RINGER) or TwistNHook (MARSHAWNBONER) or Ragnarok (CEREAL FOR BREAKFAST, STATISTICS FOR DESSERT) or HydroTech (MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL STOP SHOUTING and realize that, as fans, we don't know everything and we should just trust the coaches even when they lead us to only a 7-6 record with 7 NFL draft picks) or CaliSeth (I LIKE SHOUTING AARON RODGERS FAP DRINK FAP DRINK FAP). So I decided to whine a little bit more, out in the open this time, away from the low lighting and musky smells of the fantasy thread comments section. Grant me this space to pathetically gripe, grumble, and snivel, for all to read, and I promise it will be the last time. Or the last time until I lose to Yellow Fever again.
via dessertyears.files.wordpress.com
Fantasy football hurts. Cymbalta can help.
Since I have the 5th most points (out of 10 teams) but have somehow lost all 5 of my games, here are 5 things that matter way too much to me.
1) Chris "Beanie" Wells was my first round pick. And with the chance to grab any defense, I selected the invincible magnificent Buckeyes. Yes, 2 of my first 6 picks came from the most over-hyped team in the country. Just for reference, my top two picks from my pro team were Randy Moss and Ryan Grant. I love fantasy football!
2) Last week, Beanie was finally healthy enough to play, so at the last minute I inserted him in my starting lineup versus the vaunted Minnesota defense. How did my first round pick respond? 10 carries, no touchdowns. The man for I benched for Beanie? LaGarrette Blount, 3 touchdowns. I still earned the third most points of the week, but I played Yellow Fever, who had the second most points, and lost by 6, or 1 touchdown.
3) Growing up a Michigan fan, I hate the Buckeyes. But one of the "keys" to fantasy football is to disregard your allegiances and pick the best players. I thought I had done this by picking Wells and the OSU defense, but they've turned out to be the worst part of my team. I've been faced with the very unpleasant task of rooting for OSU, only they continue to suck. So now I hate them even more, because I'm forced to root for them and they keep coming up short.
via www.latimes.com
via www.latimes.com
I can't even find joy in your failure any more.
4) September 13th. Not only did I sit through the muggy, unbearable crap fest that was Cal @ Maryland, but my fantasy team scored an unbelievable 141 points...only to lose to a team that scored 150. Teams have scored 105 points or more 18 times and are 15-3 when they do; 2 of those 3 losses are mine. To top it off, I picked a rousing 7/18 (2 worse than the 50%, random chance line) against the spread. My saving grace? 59-0, BYU.
via www.latimes.com
CoachRickNeuheisel knows how to cheer me up on a bad day
5) I was one of two people to skip Fan Appreciation Day in order to draft my players. Every auto-drafted team has done better than mine. Yellow Fever's auto draft netted him Ringer's backup, Brandon Gibson (not the WSU star, the Alabama receiver who hasn't recorded any stats this year), and the Western Kentucky defense (What?) in the first 8 rounds, and he's killing me. Well done, CBKWit.
I hope the four of you still reading have enjoyed this visit into my fantasy hell. I definitely probably shouldn't care this much, but to quote George Costanza, "I have so little!"
Still, I get to end on a positive note. For the second straight week, I was the top performer in the Top 25 Pickem. Joining the pool in week two, I have cut my initial deficit of 19 to 12. That's a 7 spot gain in 4 weeks, so if I keep up this rate for the final 10 weeks, I'll win by 5.5 games. Maybe "CBKWitJoinsWeek2&StillWins" wasn't such a bad name for my picks after all.
via blog.tmcnet.com
Yahoo Pick'em, you're my only hope.
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While you're rooting for Ohio State
you wanna root for Terrell Pryor for me since he’s my starting QB?
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
FYI
Rags added a cool new application to the bottom of our right sidebar. There you can view the current Pick Em standings. Note that Twist isn’t on the list because he just sucks that much.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
There was a lack of picks involving Marshawn.
by BearsNecessity on Oct 2, 2008 12:26 AM PDT up reply actions
Where's Yellow Fever?
We need you to complete our fantasy circle jerk!
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
On the bright side, this week you’re playing the Maharg, who apparently has the LSU defense and LSU kicker starting and doesn’t quite realize LSU is off this week.
shhhhh
don’t tell him that. I don’t care if half his team is on a bye, a win’s a win.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
ATTENTION MAHARG
UPDATE YOUR FANTASY TEAM STARTING LINEUP IMMEDIATELY. LSU IS ON A BYE. PLEASE START OTHER PLAYERS THIS WEEK. LET’S NOT LET CBKWIT GET A WIN.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
Unfortunately, because it’s fantasy football, there are playoffs, and I have no interest in you going Georgia ’07 on us.
If it was like real college football, you’d end up in the imaginary Armed Forces Bowl. We’d all buy you a replica Air Force helmet.
by BearsNecessity on Oct 2, 2008 12:47 AM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, I’m excited to have Bradford, a healthy Beanie Wells, and Maclin playing at the same time. Hell, the only time I had two of them was last week, but Wells wasn’t completely healthy and didn’t carry a full load. Maybe with all of them together I can win a damn game.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
I said it last week
that CBKWit vs. YellowFever was the game of the week in the Fantasy league. It sure was.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
Hydrotech was Oregon State and I was USC. Hubris was my fall.
Riley…freaking…Skinner….
by BearsNecessity on Oct 2, 2008 12:45 AM PDT up reply actions
wow
The top 10 people in PickEm are all within 4 points of each other. It’s a close one! Too much suspense and excitement!!!
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
So much suspense, apparently, that it kept you guys awake until 1am. I don’t know what’s lamer: Fantasy Football, or staying up till 1am talking about it.
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions
I was 6/15
.. I just figured out that I have to pick NOT the winner but rather if the favorite will cover the spread or not… sigh
In other words, Go Bears!
I usually make my picks early in the week and sometimes revisit them before Saturday. Last week, I changed three picks at the last minute…and they all lost. I went 5/15, but I’m still in first place, so how about that.
I’ll never change my picks again, though. I don’t want to hear about who got injured during practice this week or anything else. Information only makes life more complicated. Ignorance is the key to winning. I was about to make a political reference, but I’ll just let it go.
by JoshinPortland on Oct 2, 2008 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions
RemorsefulBruinBabe just can’t appreciate the anguish behind statements like “Sam Bradford had 6 touchdowns and I still lost”.
You are so right. Getting worked up over Fantasy Football is almost as stupid as getting emotional during the Cymbalta commercial.
Aww, what’s wrong? You benched a football player you never used to care about on a team you’ve never liked, and now he is scoring big time in the actual game (you know, the one that’s really being played!) and you are now losing the fake game, again, made up of players on teams you previously hated? Are you fantasy upset? Are you going to fantasy cry because your fantasy team didn’t win their fantasy game?
Sheesh. :-)
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 10:31 AM PDT reply actions
I’m not sure where you are going with this, but I don’t think I like it.
Stay away from my wife, that is for sure!
I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Your wife is into Fantasy Football? I somehow find that hard to believe.
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions
No, but she’s not wholly against it. I don’t need you getting all up inside her head with your IDEAS and THOUGHTS.
I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I’m not WHOLLY against it…I mean, it’s better than joining a gang or stalking a washed up rock star or something. But still. Come on. It’s Fantasy Football. Only a few steps above Dungeons and Dragons, in my opinion.
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions
ouch?
I find it hard to take insults from Fantasy Football players.
ziiiiing!
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions
Now RBB is your girl?
This thread just got a lot LESS interesting. Or so I tell my wife………………….
I'm no The Maharg! But I try. Oh, how I try!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
As usual, Twist knows how to kill a thread.
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m bored with being snarky and mean today. The end.
by RemorsefulBruinBabe on Oct 2, 2008 3:33 PM PDT reply actions
LeSean McCoy to the rescue!
28 points last night. If only he had scored 1 of those tds last week. But seriously, if I lose to the Mahrag…he’s scored more than 100 points once (102) and about 80 the rest of the time. I’m already a third of the way there with one player. COME ON BUCKEYES!
www.californiagoldenblogs.com

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